I Will Keep You Alive
by Sister of Gallifrey
Summary: Loki finds out that his little hawk is deadly ill and he realizes that he's ready to do anything in order to save his life.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so I watched The Avengers and fell completely in love with Frosthawk. It didn't take long until this story was fully developed in my slashy brain ;)**

**For the first time ever writing a fanfiction I finished the first three chapters before starting uploading to FF. Usually I have a tendency of being to psyched about uploading so I simply just can't wait. But doing it this way I hopefully will be able to upload a chapter regularly (perhaps even once a week) :D**

**Anyway, this is a M/M story between Loki and Clint. It's closer to fluff than smut and I am by the way quite bad at English, just so you know. A small warning for bad language. You have been warned. Now, please enjoy! :D**

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**Chapter 1.**

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The whole world was burning and he couldn't breathe. He tried to call out for Natasha but his throat was to soar. But then he realized that it hadn't mattered if he could talk because he wasn't in the Avengers' tower, he was home. Or was he? His head was spinning and he couldn't seem to remember anything.

He suddenly felt a light and cooling touch on his forehead but he ignored it. It had to be his fever playing tricks on him. Because he was alone, wasn't he?

"_My poor little bird, sick aye? That can't be a pleasant experience to that weak body," _a voice suddenly purred and Clint directly recognized it as Loki's. _Yes, my fever is absolutely playing tricks on me, _he thought to himself but still let his body enjoy the imaginary touch of the god. Because even though he wasn't actually there Loki's hand seemed to have a cooling effect on his burning body, just like the archer remembered it. He guessed the god's cold body temperature had to do with his Jotun genes.

"_You don't believe that I'm here?" _Loki asked as if he'd heard his thoughts. Of course he had, he was after all a product of Clint's own mind.

"Nnnn," the archer said in a desperate try to say _"no, you are prisoned in Asgård."_

"_Then open your eyes,"_ Loki whispered load into Clint's ear and for some reason the assassin seemed to feel the god's breath brush against his skin.

He slowly opened his blood shattered, aching eyes to stare into mischievous green ones he would recognize anywhere.

"Jgttechmethathr," Clint muttered and it felt like his whole throat was tearing apart.

The god gave him a small nervous smile before he gently sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked the archer's hair away from his sweaty forehead. "Sorry bird, but you have to speak a lot clearer. I'm not the god of bad articulation you know," he said with a faint smile.

"You got to teach me that trick," Clint said and closed his eyes hard at the agonizing feeling that ripped in his throat upon talking.

Loki bent his brows, looking honestly worried. "You don't look good at all agent Barton. Have you called someone for help? Wasn't that green freak a doctor? Not that I would like him to get near my little bird but still," the god said in all seriousness and stroked his cold long fingers over Clint's face making the human close his eyes in pleasure.

_His bird? I'm not his bird anymore. Oh well, it does feel good to be close to him though, and this time he doesn't control what I am to enjoy or not. _Clint wasn't really sure how to react upon seeing his master again. A part of him had missed what they had had and another part wanted to condemn the god for what he'd done. But right now he didn't have the energy to push him away anyway so he just leaned back and enjoyed the moment.

He slowly shook his head to answer Loki's question.

Loki sighed heavily and rose from the bed. "I'm getting your phone," he said and left the room.

Clint let out a small whimper at the sad, sudden lack of Loki's touch.

,

"I've never seen anything like this," Bruce stated and stared in confusion at the screen in front of him.

Tony sneaked his head over Banner's shoulders to take a look at the bacteria squirming around at the picture from the microscope. As soon as Clint managed to call them and whispered a weak _"help" _in the phone Natasha and Bruce had thrown themselves into a car and driven – pedal to the floor- to pick him up while Tony and Steve hade made a room ready for him with all that could be needed in a medical situation. Thanks to all the high tech stuff and expertise the Avengers Tower contained they had all agreed that it would be better for the archer to stay there than in some common hospital.

"Me neither," he said even though no one had expected him to do.

"I have," a voice suddenly said behind them making all of the avengers (save for Thor and Clint) turn around just in time to see Loki emerge from the shadows of the lab.

All of them pulled out closest weapon to defend themselves from the god as Natasha hissed "Loki" with hatred in her voice.

But Loki took no care of them. Instead he just walked right over to the computer and dragged his finger over the picture of the bacteria. He recognized it from one of those hundreds of books he'd read as a child in the great valves of the Asgardian library.

"It's a Jotun disease," he said and let his hand fall to his side. "It's deadly to almost a hundred percent. Come to think of it, the only thing that can cure him is Idun's apples," he said with a hint of sadness in his voice which made all of them look at him confused.

"Why do you care?" Steve asked lowering his gun a bit. Loki wondered why the man had a gun on him but he guessed that's what a born soldier do.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked and threw a glance at Rodgers that he hoped said something in the line of: _"what do you think idiot?"_

"What are you doing here Loki?" Natasha asked and the god could feel how she pressed the barrel of her gun against his back.

He chuckled a bit. Did she really think she could shoot him? How cute. "Did you guys actually think it was possible to keep me prisoned? Anyway, I am not here to cause harm. I am merely here to help a friend in need," he said in all honesty but the grunts from the avengers revealed that they didn't seem to believe him.

"A friend? Clint isn't your friend. Are you really that stupid to think we would believe you?" Tony asked and crossed his arm quite amused.

Loki rolled his eyes. He didn't have time for this. His beloved bird was dying and these stupid quims insisted on making a big fuzz about everything. "I know you have trust issues towards me after what I've done. But look at the screen, you said yourselves that you hadn't seen anything like it before, well I swear I have! And if we don't start working your man is going to die," he said and felt how the anger rose within him.

He looked around to meet his former enemies shocked glances. "Please," he added and that seemed to do the trick because every single one of them slowly lowered their weapons.

"Seems like we don't have much of a choice. But we still don't trust you, one step in the wrong direction and you will be filled with so much bullet holes that you'll look like a freaking cheese," Tony stated and Loki nodded as a response.

Natasha walked around him and stared into his eyes intensively, probably so she could see if he was lying or not. _Stupid human, not even one of your so called lie detectors could detect even the biggest lie from me. _

"Then tell me, how did Clint get a Jotun disease?" she asked skeptically.

"Why, through me of course. Every Jotun carries it but we are immune ourselves so it only affects another races," he said with a chuckle. He threw a quick glance at the door to Clint's temporary bedroom. Of course, he should have known it was something like that. He knew his bird was too strong for any of those normal measly human diseases. His hawk was after all superior to all other Midgardians.

Natasha's eyes widened and she backed away. "You carry a deadly disease?"

"Jesus Loki! Then more of us can be affected. People out there can be affected!" Steve said with authority in his voice.

Loki snickered at the avengers' panicked reactions. "No, Clint is definitely the only one infected," he said with a mischievous smile plastered on his face.

"How can you be so sure?" Natasha asked with a raised brow.

He locked eyes with her. _Oh this will be fun. _"Because it spreads by saliva."

Natasha's eyes twitched at his words but the other avengers didn't seem to react.

"So, people could have drunk from like the same cup as you?" Steve said clearly not understanding the underline of Loki's words.

"It wouldn't work. There has to be quite a large amount of saliva, especially in this case since I'm not actually in Jotun form," he said and winked towards Natasha with an amused grin. The Black Widow backed away from him with a disgusted look on her face.

"I don't understand how…oh…oooh…_ooooooh,_" Tony said and his eyes widened upon realization.

Bruce just turned towards his screen, trying to hide his growing blush.

Poor Steve stood still clueless. "What? I don't understand."

"Clint and Loki got the boat rocking," Tony said and nudged the captain with his elbow.

Steve raised a brow. "I don't…. HOLY," his face turned from confusion to disgust within a few seconds and he took a few steps away from the god. "I thought that shit was illegal!"

Tony burst out into a loud laughter. "It's changed times now!"

Loki felt how the wrath built up inside him. "You pathetic creatures. You accepted it with open arms a thousand years ago but now you see it as something wrong? To me it looks like your precious evolution did nothing to advance your intelligence, au contraire it seems like it only has decreased it," he roared with a voice that made the captain look a bit ashamed.

"It's not the gay thing that concerns me," Natasha said and seemed to have lost that look of nausea in her face. "It's the fact you forced yourself on him. You raped him Loki and you don't seem to regret it the slightest."

"I haven't said that I slept with him… although I don't deny it either," he said with a mischievous glance that was aimed towards the Russian. "And just so you know, it was far from against his will. He seemed to quite enjoy it actually. Ask him yourself. I know he was under my control and did everything I asked of him. But just so you know, there were moments when his eyes turned into his normal greyish blue colour and he still kissed me, although this time a bit more intense than he usually did," he said with a small chuckle.

She let out a hateful growl and sat down on a chair. "I'm so killing you when this is over," she muttered.

"Well if you ask me, there are three things that disgust me about this. One is the homosexual part. Another is the mind control, rape thing and the third and probably most disturbing thing is the fact that you're a FREAKING ALIEN!" Steve yelled out, unable to understand what the hell was going one.

"I'm not expecting an imbecile like you to understand. But please shut your mouth. Because it doesn't matter how Clint got sick, all that matters is that he is and we have to cure him," Loki stated and threw a quick hating glance at Steve. From now on that was-rather than Stark- the avenger he disliked the most. Pathetic human creature, thinking he knows everything. He was just an ant waiting to be crushed. He found it hilarious how weak this race was in comparison to his own. But his hawk was different, his hawk was so much better.

"You said that only an apple of Odin could save her. How do we get one and what is it?" Bruce said and finally let his glance leave the screen to look up at Loki.

Loki rolled his eyes. _Stupid human. _"An apple of _IDUN_, it's what keeps us gods healthy and young. How we get a hold of one, or well several since he probably will have to eat them for a year or something, is a problem though. I could just ask father – or Idun herself- if I'm allowed to take a few spare apples for Clint, but that would mean I would have to tell him about being able to escape his so called prison cell. And doing so will probably force him to remove my powers and lock me up in another cell."

Natasha rolled her eyes and grunted. "And there we see how strongly you cared about Clint. You would rather see him die that risk losing your powers," she growled.

He sighed and looked at her with poisonous eyes. "No, that - you quim- means that I won't be able to break free from the prison to deliver the apples to Clint and therefore we need someone else to bring the apples to him," he hissed out like a snake. "I would give up my powers forever for him if you now have to know," he added with weight to his words.

"Oh," she answered simply and let her glance fall to the floor, feeling quite dumbfounded.

"Why don't we ask Thor for help? He can be the one talking to your dad and Idun and pretend the apple thing was his idea and then he can deliver them to Clint without anyone knowing about your little secret. Because I guess you would much rather being able to visit Clint yourself from time to time than to sit alone in your cell to rotten," Tony suggested and that got every glance in the room attached to him.

"Tony what the hell!" Natasha exclaimed.

"What?"

"Have you forgotten what he did? He deserves to rot in a prison cell!" she said and seemed to be really honest about it. Loki made a note in his mind to keep his distance from her.

Tony sighed. "I know. But let's just say I know how he feels. And to be honest if I was in his shoes I don't think anything could keep me away. So it's probably better to make it as easy as possible for him so we don't have to see any blood being spilled," he explained and threw a glance at the picture of his beloved Pepper sitting in its frame on the desk.

"It isn't a bad plan you've come up with… for a mortal. It might just work. I shall travel back to Asgård immediately and speak to my bro… Thor," Loki said. Calling Thor his brother still stung to hard after the betrayal, he feared he would never be able to call him that ever again. "But first I wish to speak with my bird," he said and left for Clint's room leaving the rest of the avengers to wonder why the hell the god just called Hawkeye _his bird._

Clint was still awake but he looked far from reachable. His fever had risen even further and Loki almost got burned when he reached his hand out and touched his lover's cheek.

He sighed sorrowfully and watched how the archer fought to breathe. Loki knew he had to hurry up or he would lose him. Why did the disease have to advance so quickly?

"Clint, I'm heading back to Asgård to get a cure for you my little hawk. And when I come back you'll be able to fly again like you used to. Okay? But I have to go now," he said and bent down to press a cooling kiss on the assassin's sweaty temple. Right before he backed away he whispered _"I love you"_ so quiet that a pin falling to the floor would have over voiced it. He stroked away the archer's hair from his forehead one last time before he left.

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Review?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi again! Well first of all thanks to every one of you who's reviewed and faved this story. Every single one of you is awesome.**

**Second of all I'd like to explain one thing to you guys. After the first chapter I realized some of you was really upset about the homophobic-Steve business (which I quite knew some of you would be) and so I've decided to explain why I wrote him that way. Well firstly I just though someone should have a trouble with homosexual or else it wouldn't look authentic, I mean I know (by personal experience) that every one just simply aren't going to react well to someone coming out. And therefore I felt like making one of the Avengers a bit homophobic. And since Steve is from a time when homosexuality was generally considered something horrible (it was illegal and children were taught from an early age about how bad it was) I just thought it would make most sense for him to have a problem with it. I absolutely didn't mean to upset someone. And to be honest you can't really blame Steve. As I've told a few people I've PM'ed about this: If every one (even the scientists) told you that the Earth was flat would you still believe it was round?**

**Anyway -now that I have explained that- let's move on! As I said in the first chapter I'm aiming on being able to upload one chapter each week, which at the moment seems quite possible since I'm currently writing on chapter 4. ;)**

**Well, well, I won't be nagging any longer. On with the story! :D**

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**Chapter 2.**

Loki found it adorable that he was allowed to eat with Odin, Thor and Frigga. It was as if he still was a part of the family. He smiled amused at the thought and took another bite of the ham as he listened to Thor. He did a good job lying and for a minute he was almost proud of his arrogant fool of a "brother". Loki knew this was a brilliant plan, even though it came from a human. He knew Oden never could deny Thor a wish like that. If it had been Loki himself that had asked he'd be denied even before he'd opened his mouth. That was just how this family worked and Loki hated it with every piece of his icy heart.

The Allfather seemed to think about Thor's suggestion for a minute before he answered with a stern voice "no."

Both Thor and Loki froze of shock.

Loki couldn't believe it. No, Odin must be joking, but since when did the Allfather joke?

"What?" Thor asked, obviously as confused as Loki.

"The apples of Idun are for gods my son and gods only," Odin said and met Thor's eyes with sincerity.

Loki felt how his knuckles whitened as he fisted his hand harder and harder. The shear thought of his hawk dying due to Odin's stupidity made him want to rise up and scream at the old man. Throw something at him and maybe even claw out his only eye.

"Do you mean they would be harmful to him?" Thor asked with a raised brow.

Odin sighed and gave his son a glance full of sympathy. "No Thor. The apples wouldn't harm him at all. But we cannot let mortals taste the apples. That's just how it is. Mortals die, that's what they do. If we change that every world will be affected, not only theirs. Surely you understand?"

Loki felt so much rage he could barely contain it. He forces his glance down his plate so that he could conceal the tears that now fell down his cheeks. He couldn't believe what that old rat was saying.

"Father please. I'm not going to give the whole of Midgård apples, only him," Thor begged and cast a quick glance at his brother who now gripped the table to keep himself still.

"My answer stands Thor. You'll just have to accept the fact that your friend is going to die," Odin said and turned away from his son to show that he really meant it.

Loki felt how his whole body started to shake at those words. _You'll just have to accept that your friend is going to die._ No, that was something Loki just simply couldn't. He wanted to scream and rush right out of the room. But that would be irrational to do and if there was one thing Loki wasn't then it was irrational. If he stormed out now it would most definitely cause suspicion and that was something he couldn't afford. He had to stay calm and come up with another idea. He released his grip from the table and took a few breaths to get relaxed enough to think. And then it hit him like one of Thor's flashes. He had told Natasha that he was ready to give up his powers completely for his little hawk and he just realized that he was willing to give so much more than that. And he would also have to. A small mischievous smile was formed on his face and in the corner of his eyes he could see Thor watching him in confusion.

.

"What are you planning brother?" Thor asked as soon as the guards had closed the door to the prison cell behind him and Loki.

"What do you think? I'm going to give Clint his apples," Loki answered and looked completely honest.

The god of thunder crossed his arms. Suspicious blue eyes staring at empty green ones. "And how are you going to do that?"

"I'm going to steal them," Loki lied but showed no sign of it in his face.

"Mhm," Thor said and raised a brow. Not believing in his brother's words. "Loki you as I know that Idun knows exactly how many apples she has. She would notice if even one got missing. And that place is by the way highly guarded. You know who the blame will fall upon."

Loki smiled widely. "They will blame you this time though brother. Because they know you want apples to save Hawk-eye's life."

Thor shook his head and sighed. "No Loki. They will know it's you because there is no one else skilled enough to steal those apples without getting noticed, and you know this. So tell me brother, what is your actual plan?" he asked not understanding how his brother could think he was that stupid.

Loki shook his head. "It's better off if you don't know," he said and turned his face towards the window. Hating the view that lay before him. He couldn't wait until he could get away from there again. Sure he hated Midgård even more but it withheld something more important to him than anything and he couldn't wait to have him in his arms again.

"Brother why don't you trust me?" Thor asked sounding genuinely hurt.

Loki snorted. _Well that was a stupid question! _"You know well why I don't trust any of you, Thor."

Thor sighed. He hated seeing his brother like that. When they were kids they were like best friends. Even though Thor tended to spend his time with other, more cool Asgardians and Loki tended to spend most of his time buried in books it was always to each other they turned when either of them needed help or comfort. Thor knew he had treated his brother like he was a lower being most of his life but he'd always loved him and he would never stop.

"You can't live your life alone without trusting anyone Loki. That will tear you apart," he said and put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I trust Barton," Loki muttered. Memories of Clint shooting at him with that bow of his filled his mind and tore at his heart. But somehow – even though Clint once had betrayed him- he didn't stop believing in him. He didn't stop trusting him. And that was something incredibly rare for the god. He had probably the biggest trust issues in all the realms. He had long since stopped trusting in everyone he'd ever held dear. So why would he still trust Barton enough to lay his life in his hands? Well okay, the answer wasn't that hard to guess.

"You love him, don't you?" Thor asked and Loki could feel how his brother's grip on his shoulder tightened.

"Shut up," Loki said and felt how his cheeks reddened. Ha, Loki, The god of mischief and lies, is blushing? He so hoped no one saw that.

"No but you do don't you?" Thor couldn't help but to smile at the irony of the whole situation. Loki had picked on Thor so hard about the fact that he'd fallen in love with a mortal and now he had done the exact same thing! The god of thunder so hoped Odin wouldn't find out about this, he'd be quite furious. Because it was no secret that the Allfather disliked the thought of gods intermarrying mortals.

"What can I say? I am quite found of the human yes," Loki confessed and Thor let out a loud chuckle that sent unpleasant shivers through Loki's spine. _Typical Thor, always being loud and obnoxious. _

"Well that's as close to an: _yes I love him, _I can get from you isn't it?" he said and chuckled again. "But it feels quite good doesn't it brother?"

"Yes it does," Loki agreed and felt something sharp right in his heart. "Until he's slowly dying and you realize the painful truth of what the price of his life is," he added as his throat started to ache by the tears he pushed back.

The smile on Thor's face slowly got replaced by a frown. "What are you talking about? I thought you had a plan."

Loki turned to face his brother with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes. "I do."

Thor felt how his heart started to pound faster and an ice cold chill shivered through his body. "What are you planning brother?" he asked getting really scared. Because the last time he saw his brother like this Loki let himself fall to what seemed like a certain death.

"Can you leave me alone now Thor? Please go and inform Clint about Odin's decision," Loki said and turned himself to the window again.

Loki clearly thought the conversation to be over but Thor was so not prepared to agree on that. He closed his eyes hard and took a deep breath to calm himself down, but it didn't seem to help. "NO! TELL ME NOW BROTHER WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?" he screamed out with authority but as he opened his eyes Loki was long gone. "LOKI!"

…

Clint opened his eyes slowly at the recognizable cooling touch of Loki. His sight was getting to blurry now and he didn't like it, he was after all well used to seeing perfectly. But he could still identify the figure standing by his bed. He could see the outline of strong cheekbones and slicked back dark hair.

He tried to smile but it turned out to look more like a grimace.

"You've gotten worse," Loki said with a guilty voice and sat down on the edge of the bed continuously stroking Clint's forehead and cheek.

Clint wanted to say that it wasn't Loki's fault and that he shouldn't blame himself. But all that he could force out of his mouth was a pathetic, low noise.

"Sshh, don't talk my little bird. Save your energy," Loki whispered and stroke a cold finger over the archer's chipped lips. Barton closed his eyes at the touch. Oh how he'd missed his god and the guy hadn't even been away for a day!

"Listen Clinton. My father wouldn't agree upon giving us the cure, he's being ignorant as usual," Loki explained and let his fingers follow the assassin's burning throat down to the edge of his T-shirt. "But don't worry, I'm not gonna let you die," the god said with something that sounded like tears in his voice.

"You see, I'm gonna get that cure to you anyway. But it may take some time. Actually, it may take until Sunday. So all I'm asking of you is to stay alive until then okay?" he said and waited for his lover to nod, which he eventually did with a small grunt of pain.

"Good. You're my strong little bird," Loki said with a small smile and bent down to press a light peck on Barton's lips.

Clint wanted nothing more than to reach up, grab hold of that raven hair and pull the god back down for a deeper kiss. But he hadn't even enough power to move his fingers.

Loki gave him a small wink before he left the room only to be met by a furious Thor storming towards him.

"I knew you would be here," he growled and threw himself towards his brother only to find himself running right into a wall. The real Loki stood right behind him.

"Oh come on! You really should not be falling for that one anymore," the god of mischief said with a grin on his face.

Thor turned around and met his brother's glance with anger and worry. "Brother please. Tell me what your plan is!"

Loki sighed and let his shoulders fall down a bit. "I can't. But trust me. No one but me will be in danger okay?"

Thor shook his head. "I feared that. Please brother, don't do anything stupid," he pleaded throwing quick glances at the other avengers that seemed to have been attracted by their small outburst.

Loki smiled. "You know me, I never do anything stupid."

"YOU TRIED TO ENSLAVE MANKIND!" Thor yelled out so loud the whole room shook.

The trickster's smile widened into his characteristic, teeth showing grin. "Oh but that wasn't stupid, that was fun!" he said and turned around without uttering another word.

"Brother!" Thor cried out, ignoring Loki's horrible remark.

But the god didn't answer. He just stretched out his hand and took a green apple from the fruit basket on one of the tables of the room before he went out the door.

"LOKI!" Odin roared and went after him only to find he was once more gone. "DAMN'T!"

…

The week had gone and it was finally Sunday. Loki could at last perform his plan. He glanced over at Thor who stared at him with an intense glance. The god of thunder had kept on doing that ever since the last incident at the Avengers Tower and to be completely honest it made Loki uneasy, very uneasy. But now it was finally time.

All the gods were gathered around a gigantic table in the big hall and they were eagerly waiting for Idun and her apples.

Discretely he picked up the apple he'd stolen from the Avengers and with a small whispered spell he turned the apple into a golden colour. He smiled proudly at the result.

He kept it well hidden under the table and made sure he didn't look suspicious at all. But as always everyone had their gaze turned towards the grand basket Idun came carrying on.

She handed out the apples quickly and easy to every single one of them, she was used to it since that was what she'd done every month for thousands of years.

He bowed his head in thanks as she put the apple on his plate but she didn't even look at him. Probably because she was still angry on him for arranging her kidnapping a couple of years ago. Which he by the way so couldn't help. _What did she expect? I was being tortured into obedience for Yggdrasil's sake. But of course no one cares about that. _

He threw a quick glance around the room to once more make sure no one was looking at him. Thor had for the first time dropped his stare and was now concentrating on the golden apple on his plate. Loki smiled and quickly replaced Idun's apple with his own, colored Midgardian apple. He then smoothly stuck Idun's apple into his pocket and started eating the fake one with a triumphant grin on his face. _This is almost too easy, _he thought and tried to ignore the cold fact of what was a head for himself.

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Please leave a review! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi again! Yes I know I'm supposed to upload Mondays but well I decided to just upload the third chapter now because I have a feeling tomorrow and Monday will be hectic due to school stuff and such. ;)**

**Anywho, thank you all for all the favs and stuff, you guys are totally amazing!**

**I won't hold you up for much longer, here is the chapter, please do enjoy. I'm sorry for the extreme fluffiness of this chapter which will send the characters to the OOC-land, sorry for that. But I can't help it, okay? I like my fluff and I'm proud of it! ;)**

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**Chapter 3.**

"Can you open your mouth for me Clint? I have your cure," that voice said. That sweet voice Barton so had longed after. And even though he in reality didn't have enough power he parted his lips just a little to please his old master.

"Good bird," the god purred and put the spoon on top of Barton's lower lip.

The fluid that ran over Clint's tongue was something he'd never experienced before in his whole life. It was like liquid magic just floating down his gullet and leaving behind a trail of energy and wellbeing. He wanted more.

Loki chuckled. "It's working better than expected! I can practically see the colour returning to your pretty face after only that spoon," he said happily and filled the spoon once more with the fluid. "Here, take another sip," he said and once more Clint felt that amazing taste running through his mouth. Loki was right, he felt how his fever sunk and how the nausea decreased after every spoon he drunk. The energy was just flooding back to his body and it was an amazing feeling. He imagined it was like being reborn.

The god kept feeding him like that until the bowl was empty and by then Clint felt nothing of that sickness anymore.

Loki put the bowl away on the side table and gave the archer a friendly smile. "Better?"

Clint nodded. "Yes. Thank you." He faced the trickster with serious eyes because now, when he was better, he could finally have that talk he'd ached for since the moment he was freed from Loki's spell. "Why are you so nice to me? Why are you helping me at all?"

Loki's smile faded for only a moment just to be replaced by another, smaller one. "Because you're precious to me Agent Barton," he answered and stroked the assassin's cheek to prove his point.

But Clint raised his brow suspiciously because he knew better than to trust the man. Sure he sounded honest enough but he'd seen Loki pull such beautiful lies before, he was never to be trusted. "I thought we humans were only ants to be crushed by you."

The trickster sighed. "You're different. You're better," he explained and rested his hand gently on the archer's chest. He could feel his heart pounding under all that flesh and bones. He carefully stroked his fingers against the fabric of the mortal's shirt while wanting nothing more than to feel that lovely skin against his own.

Clint felt how a blush came creeping up. That trickster surely knew how to flatter someone, but he had to stay sharp and analyzing. "How am I different?"

Loki didn't really know how to explain everything so he just chose to stick with the basis. "You're stronger than them, smarter than them and more loyal," he said and let his hand slid down so it rested against Clint's stomach rather than his chest.

Barton tried his best to ignore Loki's hand but it was far from and easy task since his whole body was shivering as a reaction to the touch. "How about Steve, he's way stronger than me. Tony and Bruce are both so much smarter. I betrayed both my friends and you, how does that make me loyal?" he asked and tried to hold back a moan as Loki's hand crawled under his shirt.

Loki felt the muscles tense under his bird's naked chest and he had to confess that he'd missed that feeling horribly. "Steve, the soldier," he said and grunted at the mere thought that the Captain would be better than his little hawk. "He aint got nothing in comparison to you, he was created in a lab. Tony and the freak? They are arrogant fools," he hissed with a hint of hatred in his voice.

Clint opened his mouth to ask once more about the loyalty thing but accidently let a moan out at the touch of his old master. And then he knew the fight was lost because Loki gave him a wide seductive smile and leaned closer to the archer. Their noses were only a few inches away from each other. "Why do you question me Agent Barton? I know you enjoy this just as much as I do. So why fight back?"

This time Clint didn't dare to open his mouth in fear of making that embarrassing sound again. But if the god kept touching him that way and smiling that tempting smile, making the sound may be inevitable. He knew everyone expected him to recent and hate the god. Loki had after all brain washed him into killing his friends but for some reason he just couldn't hate the trickster- he could barely dislike him- especially not when he touched him like that. And Clint remembered those times when Loki had called him into his room. It would have been so easy for the god to just have done him because in that state Clint couldn't do anything else than to agree on anything Loki wanted. But he didn't. It had been as if Loki could feel (or perhaps see) what the true Clint, that was hidden deep inside, liked and made sure he did just that to him. Because, in all honesty, Clint really had enjoyed their sex just as much as Loki had. And due to those memories he just simply couldn't hate the god.

"Get your hand away from me and crawl down next to me jerk," he begged and heard himself how his voice had grown weak by the god's touch.

Loki smiled widely, showing every single one of his perfectly white teeth. "That's what I wanted to hear." He stated and rose up. He quickly pulled off his coat and placed it on the closest door. Then he started working on taking of every metal and leather details on his shirt, which-according to Clint- took way too long time.

When he finally was done he crawled into the bed and pulled Clint into his arms like he used to. Barton nuzzled his face into Loki's neck. His nose was brushing against the back of the trickster's ear and he inhaled the smell of his lover like it was a drug. Oh how he'd missed this.

"I can't stay for long though my bird. You see I can't control my projection in the cell from here since it's too far away. In other words it looks like I'm sitting still on a chair in my prison cell and someone is bound to notice it's not real if it takes too long," Loki said and stroked his hand through Clint's brown hair.

"Just stay a bit longer okay," Barton pledged and the air he breathed out hit Loki's skin and made the god let out a small purr in pleasure.

"I will my bird," Loki promised and let the hand that wasn't tangled in Hawkeye's hair glide under the assassin's shirt and started stroking his back.

"Why are you calling me your bird all the time?" Clint asked and backed away just a little so he could stare into his lover's emerald eyes.

"I thought it was custom for you mortals to call those they are closely mingled with nicknames?" the god asked confused.

Clint rolled his eyes. _Could he be more adorably awkward? _"Really Loki? _Closely mingled with?_ What's wrong with calling me your boyfriend? Or if that sounds to childish, what about lover?" he asked and stroked away a stray stand of raven hair from the god's face and then let his hand slid down to rest against his cold neck.

"Because you're not. Why call you things normal mortals are being called when you so clearly aren't like them?" he counter asked as if that was the most logical thing on the planet.

Clint felt how a wide smile was spread all over his face. "To be the bad guy you're awfully adorable," he stated and then crawled down so he could rest the side of his face against the trickster's chest. "Tell me a story about Asgard," he begged and for a moment it actually seemed like Loki considered doing so but then he shook his head.

"No. I have no story of interest for you," he said and started stroking Barton's hair as if he was a dog.

"Then tell me about that cure you gave me. No, first tell me about the disease itself. I remember Natasha saying something about a frost giant disease but I was quite out," he said and drew invisible lines on the fabric of Loki's shirt.

The god sighed. "It is a Jötun disease and I'm afraid I gave you it. It's spread by saliva so no one else should have been affected. It's an extremely deadly disease and if I hadn't gotten that cure for you then you'd probably been dead by next week or so." He made a pause to let it all sink in. He felt how Clint shivered at the story and the god pulled him closer comfortingly. "The gods of Asgård eats golden apples that the Goddess Idun harvests once every month and those apples are what keep us young and healthy. Without them we would all die. I managed to steal one of those apples for you. I mashed it up and turned it to liquid to that you could swallow it and there you go, as simple as that," he said with a smile.

Clint stayed quiet for a while, just listening to the wonderful sound of his god's breathing. "So what, I'm like completely well now? I won't get infected if I kiss you again?" he asked and felt a pain in his heart at the thought of not being able to kiss the god again. Because if there was something he missed from the time as his mind slave it was the kisses. If they even where half as good as he remembered them he wasn't sure he could live without them.

"No, you see the bacteria are strong, it can stay alive and hidden in your body without reproduction for about a year before it dies. If you eat an apple each month for a year that will be enough to keep the bacteria from reproducing and it will die. What this dose did to your body was to kill every bacterium it could find, which-by the look of it- seems like most of them. But there might still be a chance that there are some of those bastards left in you and therefore we need to be sure. And when this all is done your own body will have built up a good defense itself, thanks to the apples so you shouldn't be infected next time," Loki explained.

Clint couldn't help but burst out in a small laughter. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," he said with a while grin and rolled his eyes. "Do you know how ridiculous this whole shit sounds? Apples that heals your body blah blah blah!"

"And that comes from the race that injects the deadliest poison on Midgård into their faces to look younger. Wouldn't you agree that apples are a much more logical way to keep yourself young?" the god asked sounding quite bitter at Clint's remark.

"Sorry Loki, it's just, it sounds so strange to me. Like a fairytale," he said and intertwined his fingers with Loki's. The mixture between their hot and cold skin felt strange but pleasant.

"That's about how I feel for everything on Midgård," the god answered. "Come here," he said and pulled his lover up so that they could stare into each other's eyes again.

Clint found himself desperately stuck in those piercing, green orbs and he asked himself if it shouldn't be illegal to be so stunningly beautiful. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?" he asked and ignored how completely dorky and girlish that sounded.

Loki smiled at him, showing all of those lovely teeth again. "No, people usually describe my eyes as dark and mendacious."

Clint found this shocking. Or well, maybe they hadn't seen Loki like this. This Loki was happy and safe and loving. This Loki was his and his only. "I don't agree with them the slightest," he confessed and caressed his lover's beautiful, pale skin with gentle fingers. Loki closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, cherishing every second of it.

Clint let his hand slid down and stop on the god's chest. He imagined how his strong heart was beating under all that was between his hand and the pump. Loki seemed to notice his wonders because after a quick nod from him Clint could suddenly feel the pulse from the trickster's heart vibrating through all those muscles and bones and fabric right into Barton's hand. The archer bit his lip at the sensation and met his lover with a smile.

Loki looked back at him with hungry eyes and Clint could feel how the god's heart beat faster as he leaned closer. Barton was sure his own heart did as well but Loki's was all that he could feel. And as their lips met Clint felt how the god's heart skipped a beat. The kiss was sweet but over far too soon. So that when Loki leaned back Clint grabbed hold of the trickster's raven hair and pulled him back for a deeper, more passionate kiss. And now when he couldn't feel Loki's pulse he clearly heard his own heart pounding blood into his head like a maniac.

It was so much better than he'd remembered it. The way their lips fit together couldn't possibly be a coincident. It was like they were made only for this. Clint was glad that they were lying down because he wasn't sure he could have kept himself on his feet during that.

The god dragged his tongue over Barton's lower lip and the assassin gladly gave him access moaning loudly at the sensation. Oh yes, this he'd definitely missed.

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**That was it for this chapter and I honestly do hope you all didn't die of a suger overload... hehe. I can't believe how many it is that have faved this story and put it on their Alert-list, it's freaking sick! :O Anyway, I would appreciate if more could review though because that is really what inspires me to write. NO! This is not one of those "If you don't review I won't continue this story"-threats! I just simply want to hear in words what you guys think about the story. I love writing and I would finish this story even if no one reviewed at all ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oh shit, I almost forgot I had to upload today. I'm telling you guys, school is honestly killing me at the moment so please do not kill me if I my next update is a few days late. But I'll do my best to upload it in time ;)**

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews and favs and stuff I've gotten so far. You guys are truly amazing! :D**

**Anywho, here is the fouth chapter. Sorry if it's a bit boring but it is kind of a filler...**

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**Chapter 4.**

They fought for dominance and Clint found himself surprised when he came out on top. He rolled them both around which seriously messed up the clothing of the bed, something that none of them cared about the slightest. Clint ended up on top of his god and straddled him. One leg at each side of the trickster's hip. He never once let their lips part.

With quick, shaking fingers he pulled open Loki's shirt and let his hands explore the god's cold skin which gained him a moan from the trickster.

Both of them could feel each other smiling into their kiss and neither of them wanted to stop… until the door opened.

"Clint I….What the!" Natasha cried out at the sight before her.

Barton broke the kiss quickly and met her glance with an embarrassed look on his face. "Natasha… I…" he said but he was quickly interrupted by the other assassin's poisonous voice.

"Loki what the hell! He's sick and you take advantage of him?" she yelled out and within a second she was holding a dagger in her hand.

Loki couldn't help but laugh at her. "Does it look like _I _am taking advantage of _him_?" he asked and gestured at the man straddling him with his hand inside his shirt.

"Tasha seriously, you're being ridiculous," Clint stated with a sigh.

"You're the one being ridiculous Clint. You're the one sleeping with that freak," she stated and threw the door shut behind her.

…..

"So, Caps. Why do you have such a big problem with gays?" Tony asked and took another sip of his whiskey. The team was having their breakfast in one of the Stark Tower's dining room, at eleven AM. Steve had been up at the first sun ray and had therefore already eaten but decided to take a second breakfast. After all you did get quite hungry after running a lap round the whole of Manhattan.

Steve shrugged his shoulders. "That's just what I was raised to believe. I'm not used to this time's openness about things," he answered and let his glance fall down into his bowl of cereals. He knew the team was having troubled with his so called "homophobia" he wondered when in time that term had been invented because it surely didn't exist in his time. Why didn't people have more acceptances of his beliefs? They expected him to think and be like them when he clearly was from another time completely. The whole world was upside down to him! Some things were better, some things were worse and some things were just plain different. Nowadays you apparently could go to the moon, people paid thousands of dollars just to make themselves look plastic, movies were in color, women were accepted in most professions, Germany was a friend, Russia wasn't a communist country and it actually was Russia once again, 'homophobia' was seen as a sickness while homosexuality was a normality. And apparently the world was going to end because of how we lived and not many people seemed to care. There was so much that had changed since his time and everyone expected him to adjust to it within seconds?

"Well, the point is Steve, there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. We all understand that you have some problems adjusting to today's society and no one expects you to just drop everything you believe in and move on. But let's just stick to the vital point here. It's not like you're going to start hating on Barton because of his sexuality right?" Bruce asked and watched the soldier over the frames of his glasses.

Steve thought about this for a moment before he realized that the question was crystal clear. "No, of course not! I may be… terribly disgusted by the act itself but I won't treat _him_ differently. All my life I have been fighting against bullies, I won't become what I hate," he said honestly and met the two scientists' glance.

Bruce nodded with a small smile plastered on his face. "That is all we ask of you."

"Wait, wait, wait. There is still one thing I'd like to know," Tony said and put down his glass of whiskey. Everyone in the team kept telling him to stop drinking constantly but it didn't seem to have much effect on him. "You said that the biggest problem was the alien thing. But still, you don't seem to have much problem with Thor and Jane," he continued.

Steve sighed heavily and scratched his eyebrow. Because he honestly wasn't sure what to say since he wasn't sure how he actually felt. "I don't know, it just… it just troubles me more. Maybe it's because Thor is our friend…" he was about to continue his explanation but was interrupted by Tony.

"But Clint is our friend too."

Another sighed slipped out the Captain's mouth. "Yes but Loki isn't. And -as I was going to say before you interrupted me- maybe it's just simply because Thor seems so much more human than Loki. Everything Loki says and do just seem so unearthly and strange. I mean sure, Thor talks really strange and sometimes he doesn't understand earthly customs but Loki is totally different. Seriously, the guy is cold and dark and insensitive, like he's not even alive." He just simply couldn't explain it, it just didn't feel as wrong with Thor and Jane as it did with Clint and Loki.

"Whatever man," Tony said and poured a small amount of whiskey down into his bowl of cereal to get a stronger taste.

Then Natasha suddenly stormed into the room with a furious expression to her face. "I don't get him, I just don't get him," she exclaimed and put her palms on the table so violently it made every object on its surface jump.

"What is it now 'Tasha?" Tony asked and was surprised when the assassin didn't even flinch at the call name she usually hated.

"Clint! How can he want that maniac?" she asked and looked every single one of them in their eyes.

Bruce raised his brow. "Loki? Is he here?" he asked surprised even though he really shouldn't be. After all, the god seemed to pop in and out of the tower like he owned the place.

"Of course he is. And he seemed to magically have healed Clint," she snorted and sat down roughly on one of the chairs.

"So he got hold of an apple? Didn't Thor say it was impossible," Banner asked and pushed away his bowl, this was so much more important than food.

"Thor also said that Loki seemed to have a plan. And to be honest, as long as Clint's getting better I couldn't care less about how that god got a hold of the cure," Tony stated and shrugged his shoulders. He didn't understand what the whole fuzz was about. Loki didn't seem to try and take over the world and Clint seemed to be quite attached to the god so he didn't see any fault in them sharing a few heated moments with each other. People today could be so focused in finding problems with everything. What was wrong with just letting things flow naturally? Okay, maybe that wasn't something a guy who built a machine to stop the natures will of his death was allowed to say but (as with so much else in the world) he just simply didn't care.

"Well I care! What if he's making him worse with it!" she said and threw an angry glance at Tony as if he'd changed to Loki's side.

"Come on Natasha now you're being paranoid! You said yourself that Clint's healed," Banner sighed and took off his glasses.

"But you're being naïve! He's the god of LIES! We can't trust him but still you're ready to trust him with Clint's life," she said annoyed. She hated being called things. She wasn't some kind of a weak child. She'd been taught from birth how to fight. She could kill long before she could walk.

"I thought we all agreed that it was the only chance we had," Steve cut in. "You know we all dislike this plan as much as you do, but it is our only shot."

Okay, she had to agree on that. "I just hope we know what we're doing," she said and closed her eyes. Her head was hurting in a way it hadn't done in a long while, was it stress? That was a new feeling!

Clint had fallen asleep against Loki's chest and the god really didn't want to move but it wasn't like he had any choice. He'd already been gone far too long.

Carefully he moved the archer's head so that it rested against the pillow. He gave him a small, soft peck on the lips before he backed away and put on his clothes quickly again thanks to magic. He then threw a small glance back at his sleeping lover before he disappeared from the room easy as the wind.

He moved through the corridors of the grand castle quickly and (at least as he thought) unnoticed. But then he suddenly heard a voice from behind him.

"I saw what you did Loki."

He stopped abruptly and turned around to face Idun, one of the few creatures who actually could sneak up on him. He didn't answer but just simply looked at her with cold eyes.

"You are aware of what the lack of my apples will do to you, right?"

"Of course I am," he simply answered. After all he had to live without them for four months after he'd left Asgård. Or well, he was away from Asgård for approximately a year but eight of those months he spent stuck on Jontunheim in his Jotun form and was therefore not affected by the loss of her golden apples.

"And still you're willing to do it?" she asked with a raised brow. She honestly looked shocked.

"Why should you care?" he counter asked and crossed his arms. He really wasn't up for a conversation with that woman.

"Oh, don't misinterpret me Loki because you see, I couldn't care less if you died. I just find it weird that you would be willing to offer your life for a simple mortal," she said and he had to admit that the first part kind of stung.

"Well maybe you're just simply too fast judging me Idun," he said and turned his back at her to keep walking towards his cell.

"Don't believe someone will come to get you out of Nifelheim Loki, like we tried with Balder. You will rot there forever with your monster to daughter as your only company," she spitted out with hatred in her voice.

He almost wanted to turn around and beat her until she bled but he decided against it. It was to no use. Why people continued calling his children monsters he would never understand but he did understand their hatred towards him, especially Idun's. And he knew she was right. Everyone in every realm had shed tears at the death of Balder, he wondered if even one would cry when he stopped breathing.

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**Please, please review! :) (Haha yes I am a nagging jerk)**

**Sorry if the females of this chapters seemed like annoying bitches. They are so not! You'll see! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks to everyone who faved and added the story to their alert list. You guys rule!**_

_**This chapter is a bit longer than the previous ones but it is also kind of worse written than the rest. I have a lot to do in school at the moment and it has drained me from inspiration. It was almost to the point where I didn't have enough time to upload this chapter.**_

_**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it even though it's kind of bad! :)**_

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**Chapter 5**

Barton woke up in an empty bed (to his disappointment). Sure, he had known from the beginning that the Norse god couldn't stay for long but he was still upset about it.

The fever and the agonizing headache was since long gone and it made him wonder what those apples contained that had such magical healing force.

He turned to get a more comfortable position in the bed only to find himself nuzzling his face into the pillow Loki had rested his head against. He could still smell the god's powerful scent in the fabric and he almost felt nauseous inhaling it. He still couldn't understand why he felt so attached to the god and neither why the god seemed to be so attached to him. But he liked it and maybe he just should enjoy the moment while it lasted.

He considered falling back asleep but soon realized that he had enough energy to run a marathon. But he really didn't want to leave bed. Because if he did he'd have to face Natasha and judging by the look on her face from before that was something he really didn't want to put himself through. But as his stomach let out a loud craving sound for food he realized he had to leave the safety of his nest after all.

He quickly put on his T-shirt and sweatpants, opened his door slowly and tried to sneak like a cat into the kitchen. But he should have known it was impossible to gather some food and retreat to his nest without being heard by the Russian assassin.

He jumped high by the shock of seeing the red haired woman standing right next to him when he shut the door of the fridge.

He let out a small sigh of relief when he noticed that her features didn't look as sharp and angry as they'd done before.

"Christ Natasha, I almost dropped everything," he exclaimed as he put down the old slice of pizza he'd found and the milk. She'd already caught him so he might as well stay and eat in the kitchen.

She followed his movement with studying eyes as he went to grab the cutlery and a glass. "We need to talk," she said not angrily but truthfully.

"Yeah, I know," he sighed as he retreated to the table. His shoulders were low and his glance was shamefully turned to the ground.

She sat down on the other side of the table while being careful that her glance didn't leave him once. They just sat like that for a while in complete silence. Clint ate his pizza while being painfully aware of her stare. When he swallowed the last piece he finally gained courage to meet her glance. He had no idea why he was so afraid of facing her, it wasn't like she was his mother or anything. But, well, she was his best friend and her opinion mattered more to him than he dared to confess.

"So," she finally said and put her hands together on the table in a factual manner. "Care to explain?"

Clint swallowed the bulge in his throat and nodded. Time to put all the cards on the table. "Where do you want to start?"

She scratched her eyebrow before she turned to look at her friend with a worried glance. "How about you tell me how you come to sleep with an evil Norse god?"

"He's not really evil. Just misunderstood," he defended his lover. Because the picture of Loki in the morning filled his mind. A picture of a happy trickster without the usual pain written all over his face. A good and caring person. The one who'd come back for him. The one who had saved him from death.

"Clint, he killed hundreds of people. He's not exactly innocent," she answered with a small smile on her face.

Barton sighed and let his glance fall once more. "We're not exactly saints either," he answered, thinking about every life he'd taken.

She rolled her eyes. She didn't know why, but for some reason Clint seemed to be more affected by all the killing they'd done than she was. She could kill a whole family and walk away without even a shaking lip. Maybe that was something she should be worried about, maybe she should consider herself a bad person because of it but she simply didn't care.

"You didn't answer my question," she stated and raised a brow at her friend.

The archer sighed once more and met her glance again. "To be honest it feels like he's still brainwashing me to some degree. Because I know I shouldn't like him, but I do. I really do Natasha. But I know I'm not being brainwashed, I know it's all me because I would recognize the feeling. I don't know what to tell you because the truth is something you do not want to hear."

She bit her lip. "What you do in your privacy really isn't any of my concern Clint. But can you send my regards to Loki that if he hurts you in any way I will tear his insides out."

Clint just stared wide eyed at his friend. Making a mental note to never tell her when Loki pisses him off. He prefers his god alive and breathing.

The days past by like normal in the Avengers Tower and on Asgård. Loki kept visiting Clint as often as he found possible but he always left sooner than both of them had wished. Every month the trickster managed to sneak the apple that was meant for him to his lover while receiving knowing stares from Idun. It had passed five months and Loki was getting paler and coughed like an ill mortal. It was very, very rare for a god to get sick but the other Asgardians didn't seem to care that much about Loki's changed state of health. Some thought it had something to do with his different genes but most brushed it off as one of his tricks. Because they all had seen him eat Idun's apple and therefore he couldn't possible fall ill for real.

But Clint didn't take it as lightly as the rest of them.

"You've cut your hair," he stated and pulled his hand through the now barely shoulder long hair of his lover.

Loki didn't answer but just stared right into the wall. He hated being sick, it had only happened twice in his long life but that was more than enough. And the fact that he knew perfect well that he was only going to get worse and worse wasn't doing anything to help the situation.

"Are you okay? You look paler and thinner than usual." Clint stated and leaned his forehead against his lover's cheek but quickly pulled away. Not an ounce of the usual coldness of Loki's skin was left. "Sweetie, you're having a fever," he stated and looked worried at his lover.

Loki looked at him in the corner of his eye irritated. "Call me that again and I'll tear your tongue out," he stated threatening. Even though his body seemed sick his voice still had its usual power and authority.

Clint rolled his eyes. His god could be so romantic sometimes. "Come on Loki. You don't look that well. You want to lie down?"

Loki turned and faced his lover with one of his trademark smiles. "I'm not sick, little bird. I am a god from Asgård, I can't get sick. Just because I'm not cold it doesn't mean I'm sick. And the thinner and paler part, well I haven't eaten much lately. That is all," he lied, but so convincing that Clint swallowed it completely.

"Okay, then let's eat something. Hey do you have ice cream on Asgard?" he asked and stroke back a few strays of raven hair that had fallen into the god's eye.

The Trickster raised a brow. "No… what is that?"

Barton opened his mouth in faked shock. "Oh, you have to taste it… NOW!" he exclaimed and threw himself of the bed and ran over to his cupboard.

"What are you doing Agent Barton?" the god asked confused.

"Finding more Earthly clothing for you," the archer answered as he searched his wardrobe for something that might fit Silvertongue.

"Isn't this good enough?" the god asked with a mock trace of hurt in his voice.

Clint let out a small chuckle and turned around. "No it absolutely d…" He stopped in the middle of the sentence upon seeing what the god was wearing. The leather coat was replaced by a simple gray-green shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The leather and metal trousers were replaced by some casual dark blue jeans.

The assassin war speechless for a moment before he managed to get used to the new (very fitting) look. Loki looked truly handsome and Clint knew he would be bullied till the end of time if he told the god that.

"I know my knowledge in Midgardian fashion is limited but I thought this was a quite acceptable outfit," the god asked and studied his lover's astonished glance.

"No, no, it's good," the archer confessed and smoothened out a few wrinkles on the shirt before he lifted his glance from the god's new garments to his face and smiled. "Really good actually. Your new haircut, I like it by the way. It looks more… proper," he said and let his hand stroke through the trickster's hair again.

Loki smiled at him. "Thanks my bird."

They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other until Clint remembered what they were supposed to do. "Come on! Materialize a jacket and let's go!" he cried out and backed away from his lover.

Loki let out a small chuckle. "You are a strange being, hawk." Suddenly his upper body started glowing golden and a second later he was wearing a black leather jacket.

Clint couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Always the green and leather," he sighed mockingly.

"What is wrong with that?" the god asked with a raised brow.

"Nothing. I have to confess that it is a look that really fits you. Come on now!" he said and before Loki had time to say a word Clint grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door.

"By Duneyr's horns you really must like this Cream with Ice," Loki stated as he was pulled backwards down the rooms. He could simply have stopped and Clint wouldn't have been able to drag him an inch, but he kind of found the situation a bit entertaining so he let his bird pull him forth.

Once they were out of the Tower Clint of course let go of his god and they walked side by side to the ice cream shop that was strategically places just a block away. It was a sunny day and the streets of New York were warm but for some reason Loki couldn't help but shiver of coldness. He tried to hide it as good as possible from the archer and since Barton didn't mention it he concluded that he did a good job.

"Here we are," Clint finally said and nodded towards a small (not bigger than a few yards in diameter) and colorful store on the other side of the square. All the colors of the store painfully reminded Loki of the Bifrost and therefore also about the day he fell. He shivered at the mare memory.

"Just sit here and wait for me okay?" the assassin said with a smile and nodded towards a bench.

"Okay agent," Loki said with a shrug of shoulders and did as he was told.

"Okay, so eum. If anyone asks for your name don't say that you're Loki of Asgard. And don't tell them you're a god… oh and don't say that it was you that did all the slaughtering last year… and you better not tell them you have magic because they will think that you're a maniac… and don't say you want to enslave humanity and rule the world… don't…"

Loki raised a brow. Clint was adorable when he was worried. "I simply won't utter a word until you're back okay?" he said with a small smile on his lips.

Clint let out a small chuckle and shook his head. "Yeah, it probably is best that way. Just wait okay?" He had no idea why he tried to make the god promise something. Loki was after all the trickster, the liar, he wouldn't keep a promise if he so was threatened to death. He shook his head once more and gave the god a quick peck on his lips before he left for the shop.

"Paranoid mortal," Loki muttered with a chuckle and turned his face towards the sky. There, light years away, his previous home was. The place he'd lived in for hundreds of years believing he actually belonged there. All those friends he'd had that turned out to despise him behind his back. It made him sick to think about all those things they probably had said about him behind his back. The Trickster had been tricked himself.

A few coughs forced themselves out his throat making his chin fall to his chest afterwards. He was getting tired, something he wasn't used to this early in the day. But well he knew the reason all too well. He tried to shake the thought off though because today was not a day to think about your oncoming death.

He lifted his head and looked at the shop. Clint was second in line, just behind two teenagers. Loki didn't understand what was so special about this dish. He knew what cream was and he most certainly knew what ice was and in combination it just didn't seem that special or even tasty. _Midgardians and their strange habits. _

In the corner of his eye he saw a small boy around the age of seven sit down on the bench next to his. He was holding a box with some kind of a toy in it but he didn't pay the child much attention. He didn't understand why Clint was afraid he would start talking to people. Conversations with mortals seldom brought much interest to him, they were after all a dull and primitive race. Except for Clint though.

"Do you like superheroes?" the boy suddenly asked and it took a few seconds before Loki realized it was him he was talking to. The child looked at him with big, brown, interested eyes.

"Superheroes?" Loki repeated, not sure what the word meant. He knew what heroes were. It was brave men who died in battle and came to Valhalla. But what 'superheroes' were, he had no idea.

"Yes you know Spiderman, Superman, Batman… and Iron Man," he said and at the last name he lifted up his toy. It was a replica of Tony Stark in his Iron suit only much smaller and made out of plastic.

Loki found the small action figure quite hilarious. He wondered why any child would want to play with a plastic version of that obnoxious fool. Was that what mortals call superheroes? Men who walks around in iron cloths and talk nonsense? This world was more primitive than he had thoughts.

"I see," he said. Still not sure what to answer. Even though the Avengers were his enemies he did find some of them quite charming. Natasha was clever (she even out-smarted him once), Stark had his few times of light too and well Clint spoke for himself. But he couldn't say he liked the soldier that much and he definitely didn't like the green freak for obvious reason (his back still hurt from time to time). And those were the only so called 'superheroes' he knew about, because he guessed the other avengers would be considered that title if Stark was. And it didn't really matter that he found them charming because they were all mortals, pathetic ones too. "I haven't had any good experience with them I'm afraid," he just simply said and that was almost true. Sure he'd had fantastic experiences with Clint but the rest of them, not so much.

"Well Iron Man is awesome. You can sometimes see him fly over the rooftops. But you probably knew that. I'm Allen by the way," the boy said with an enthusiastic smile.

"I'm Loki," the god answered and gave the child a small smile. He did not wish to speak to the mortal, he had after all promised Clint not to.

"What a strange name… Loki," the boy said and wrinkled his dark brows.

"Well I'm not from here," Loki simply answered and hoped that Allen wouldn't push the question further. Of course he wouldn't be that lucky.

"Where are you from then?"

"Island." If Loki remembered correctly that was the current name on a place his kind once had been considered gods. Heimdal had talked about it once but Loki hadn't put much attention to it.

"Isn't that like… another country?" the boy asked impressed.

"Mhm," Loki simply answered not really sure if it actually was. He wasn't even sure what a 'country' was. "Are you here alone?" he asked to change the subject.

"Nope, with my mum and dad but they went to the drugstore and I didn't want to come with them so I left when they didn't see me," he said with a triumphant smile.

"Really? Won't they be mad at you?" the god asked while remembering how Odin used to hit him and Thor if they ran away. It wasn't a memory he enjoyed remembering.

Allen just shrugged his shoulders. "Are _you_ here alone?"

Loki shook his head. "No, but my companion is currently trying to buy me a cream with ice," he answered and looked over at Clint who seemed to be paying at the moment.

The boy raised a brow again. "You mean an ice cream?"

"Yeah," Loki simply answered without letting his glance fall from the assassin.

"You talk funny," Allen said laughing.

Silvertongue didn't like being laughed at but he guessed he'd had to stand it this time because Clint wouldn't be that happy to find him beating a child up. "Well, we talk like that in Island," he said.

"I see. Is it your girlfriend you're here with?"

Loki couldn't help but chuckle. He'd love to see Clint's reaction upon being called his 'girlfriend'. "No I.." he had to stop in midsentence to let out a violent cough. _My, it really is cold outside! _"No, it most certainly isn't. He…"

And at that exact moment Clint came over. "Oh God Loki what have you done?" Barton exclaimed, obviously certain that the god just had made a total fool of himself. He turned towards the boy with worried eyes. "Whatever he's said, it's not true. If he said he'd like to wipe out the entire human race from the map he's only joking, he likes scaring people you see. And he is kind of a mythomaniac, so if he's said that he's a god from Asgard then he's lying…"

"Clint," Loki tried with a sigh but the archer didn't seem to hear.

"And if he's told you that he's over a hundred years old that is also a lie. And don't believe him when he says that we humans are ants for him to crush because that is a joke of his…"

"Clint," the god tried again, this time a bit louder.

"And he really doesn't hate everyone and everything, he's just having a bad day…"

"Clint!" Loki cried out and pulled hard at his lover's sleeve so that he finally looked at him. "We talked about superheroes and his parents. Calm down bird!"

"Oh," Clint said and stared into the air for a few seconds before he turned towards the boy again. "Forget everything I just said."

Allen just stared at the assassin as if he was the strangest person alive.

Clint nodded and sat down right next to Loki with blushing cheeks. "Well this is awkward."

The god leaned closer to his lover so that his lips almost brushed against the archer's ear. "Why are you so suspicious about me bird?" Loki asked with an amused tone to his sensual voice. He noticed how his action made Clint shiver which only made the trickster smile even wider.

"You know damn well the answer to that… boss," Clint answered and added the last word as a reminder of the time when Loki had tried to destroy all of mankind.

Loki let out a loud laughter, showing all of his teeth before he broke into another volley of violent coughs.

"Are you okay?" Allen asked with a wrinkled forehead.

"Yes," Loki answered the child between his coughs.

"You said you weren't sick!" Clint cried out annoyed at the fact that his god had once more lied to him. Why he was so surprised about that fact was a mystery.

"I'm not! I can't get sick! Calm down Agent Barton, the city air is irritation my lungs that's all," Loki answered, lying once more.

Clint raised a brow. They had been a thing for quite some time now but the god still insisted on calling him 'Agent Barton' from time to time, probably only to irritate the archer. Well he succeeded.

"Agent? You're an agent?" the boy asked with big, impressed eyes.

Clint turned around and faced the boy he'd almost forgotten was present. "What? No! I'm…" He wasn't sure what to answer (it wasn't like you were allowed to walk around and tell everyone that you belonged to S.H.I.E.L.D). But he could consider himself lucky because he wouldn't need to say anything at all thanks to two people closing in from a distance.

"ALLEN!" the female one of them yelled out with an irritated voice. "YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WANDER OFF LIKE THAT!" There was a hint of worry in all the anger.

"Sorry, but you were so boring," he muttered under his breath.

The woman ran over to him and hugged him hard, the father not far behind.

"We were so worried," the father whispered to his son as he stroke his hand over the boys brown hair.

Loki watched the scene in astonishment. He wasn't used to seeing a father being so affectionate towards his son. Odin hadn't even been like that towards Thor!

Allen was a complete replica of his father. They both had the same amber eyes and auburn hair. They even had similar jaw structure (although they would probably become more similar when the boy grew older). The only thing Allen shared with his blond and green eyed mother was the pointy nose and the freckles.

"I'm fine dad," the boy assured even though his voice was barely hearable through all the fabric of his father's coat that he was firmly pressed against.

"But something could have happened to you," his mother said sincerely.

"We can assure you that he was completely safe with us," Clint said simply because he felt like he needed to say something.

Loki sat just as still as before. Studying with envious eyes the family moment before him. Maybe this was the reason why Thor liked Midgård so much. The sentiment. He felt sick at the thought. All that weakening sentiment. You are never going to become anything while being clouded by all those useless feelings. But still. It hurt his heart a bit staring at the unending love before him. It was like if he was looking at a part of his life he'd always missed and never would get.

The two parents broke their hug and looked up at the archer and the god. "He was with you the whole time?" the mother asked curiously.

Clint turned and looked at his lover. He was after all the one who'd talked with the boy.

Loki broke out of his thoughts as he noticed everyone's glances. He looked up at the mother with a faint smile. "No, not the whole time. He came and sat down next to me. But after what he told me he it sounded like he walked straight here," the god answered.

"Mum I could have answered that myself," Allen complained obviously feeling like he was being treated like a kid, which he happened to also be.

But it didn't seem like the mother had heard him, or maybe she simply just chose to ignore his comment. "Oh, I see. Thanks for taking care of him. New York is a big town and we feared we would never find him again," she just said and pulled her son closer to make sure he was safe.

"No problem," Clint answered with a small smile on his face.

"Well, we won't be troubling you anymore. Have a nice day," the father said and Clint simply answered with a nod. Loki also stayed silent but gave the family one of his charming smiles.

"Bye Loki!" Allen said as he was pulled away by his parents.

"Bye," Loki yelled back. He let his emerald eyes follow the mortals as they walked away. He still found the situation fascinating.

Clint wore a bright smile as he studied his lover's face. The trickster seemed spell bound to the family like it was some kind of an addicting TV- show or something. The archer could almost see how the god's brain was working inside his head, trying to work out the puzzle that was humanity. Clint recognized that glance because Loki used to watch him like that and sometimes still did. Most humans he looked at will dullness in his eyes but Clint and that family he watched with interest. The archer wondered how that may come. "You liked that kid didn't you?" he finally asked when he grew bored of having the god's eyes focused on something other than the archer himself. It may sound selfish but Barton wanted his god all by himself.

Loki blinked a few times before he once more turned his glance towards his little bird. "What?"

"The kid, you liked him," Clint repeated and moved a little closer to the Asgardian.

Loki raised a brow, clearly not understanding. "No, I just found the family fascinating," he answered honestly and let his glance travel from the assassin's eyes down to the curious objects in his hands. For the first time he really laid time on observing the things called ice cream. In two cone shaped breed –looking things there were round balls of what looked like frozen cream but it was colored in different colors. _What the Mimer is that?_

"Why?" Clint asked wondering what could be so fascinating about a normal family.

"What is that?" Loki asked, clearly avoiding the subject.

Clint sighed, tired of never being allowed into his lover's mind. Why was it so? Loki always knew everything Clint was thinking but never once was Clint allowed into the god's mind. All he got to know was small images (probably fake ones to that) Loki sometimes handed out to Clint to get what he wanted. The sneaky bastard.

The assassin decided that there was no idea to keep thinking about the subject since he would never get Loki to talk about it again anyways. Instead he followed the God's glance down at the two ice creams in his hands which he'd almost forgotten that he had in the first place. "Oh right the ice cream. Here you go," he said and handed over one of them to the frost giant.

Loki looked at it with skeptical eyes before he leaned down and smelled it. Judging by his expression it seemed like he enjoyed the scent. But he still wasn't completely convinced so he looked up at his lover and waited for him to take the first bite.

Clint rolled his eyes and then let his tongue drag over the treat and smiled at the taste of strawberry that hit his mouth.

"Why does the cream have such strange colors?" the Norse god asked suspicious. He remembered Thor telling him something about all these chemicals on earth that the mortals used in food only to make the consumers brains lure them into thinking that it tastes better.

Once again the assassin rolled his eyes. Loki could be so adorable! It was almost impossible to believe that the man was a dangerous serial killer when he acted like this. He was like a little child, a very suspicious little child. "Because it's different flavors. The pink one is strawberries, the white is vanilla and the greenish is melon," he answered as he dragged his tongue over the ice cream again.

"It still looks weird," Loki muttered.

"Well they have poured in a lot of other shit to make it have those colors but don't care about that. Just eat it! It tastes amazing," he assured his lover with a sincere smile.

"M'kay," the trickster said and finally took a bite of the melon flavored scoop. He cringed his face as a huge wave of coldness spread through his already frozen body. The cold concealed the taste and he put a hand on his aching head.

"Brain freeze? Yeah, I probably should have warned you that things like that can happen," Clint said and smiled at his agonizing lover.

"Why would you eat food that hurts?" the God asked with a low voice as he bent forward in a hopeless attempt to make the pain decrease. He hated being sick. He felt so weak. He knew he still had most of his physical strength left but his pain threshold was pretty much on the level of a mere mortal, something that did nothing for his ego.

Clint let out a laugh and put a soothing hand on his lover's back. "It doesn't hurt if you eat it slowly and don't put too much in your mouth at once," he answered and moved his hand from the god's back to his chin so that he could gently force Loki to sit up straight again. He then leaned in and kissed the trickster on his aching temple. He let the lips stay on the skin for a while before he moved away with a content smile. "Better?" he asked.

Loki wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion. "No? Why would it get better just because you kissed me? Clint Barton, I seriously don't understand your Midgardian methods."

Clint laughed at that and was about to say something back when a voice behind them interrupted him. "Clint Barton? _The_ Clint Barton?" it asked with a mixture of anger and shock.

Loki and Clint turned around to face the tall, built man behind them.

"Who are you?" Loki asked with a raised brow. He turned to look at his lover to see if his face showed any sign of recognition. And it did. It most certainly did. The archer was completely frozen. His eyes showed nothing but pure fear, something that made the god feel uneasy. Barton was never scared.

* * *

_**So what did you think this time? Please do leave a review afterwards! :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, first of all, thanks to all of you who reviewed, faved and put the story on alert. I'm sending virtual cookies to all of you awesome mortals! :D Without you guys this chapter seriously wouldn't have been done in time! **

**Second of all, you have no idea how much it took for me to be able to finish this chapter till today. School has been killing me (honestly) just to get a glimpse of what I've been up to: Essays in following subjects... Swedish, English, History, French and Social studies. Tests in... German x3 (yes three tests in German, one of those is this week though), History, Math. And to top it all of I had a whole bunch of Home work in every subject I have. So yes I have had quite a busy week and as mentioned, the only reason I managed to upload this is you awesome readers. **

**Thirdly, I am so, so sorry for doing this to Clint and Loki. Please forgive me... :(**

**And well just a fair warning, I am not one of those girls that knows everything about every comic hero. This chapter contains flashbacks of Clint's past and (becasue of my lacking knowledge) there probably is a whole lot of incorrect facts about that part of his life. Sorry about that folks.**

**Anyway, on with the story :)**

* * *

_**Chapter 6**_

The man seemed to ignore Loki completely and kept talking to the frozen archer instead. "I never thought I would see you again rat," he muttered with a hint of hatred in his voice as he walked round the bench to stand right in front of them.

Clint followed every move the man made with his bird eyes. His lower lip shook with a mixture of anger and fear.

Loki didn't understand why the man had called Clint 'rat' because after what he'd experienced with the mortals of Midgård that wasn't a nice thing to be called.

"I thought you and your pathetic brother had hidden like the cowards you were from the face of Earth," the stranger continued. And judging by the face Clint made after that sentence Loki decided to hate the man more than he hated Odin.

Rage and pain filled the archer's eyes which woke him up from his trance. He stood up with his hands tied hard into fists, shaking and whitening. Loki could practically hear the assassin's teeth grit. "Don't talk about my brother that way!" he yelled out with the wrath of a furious wolf. Perhaps even like the wrath of Fenris.

Clint felt how the angry tears stung in his eyes. The memory of Barney dying right in front of him hurt like a knife and that the monster even uttered his dead brother's name made him want to claw the eyes out of him.

"What it this I see? The little scum stands up for himself? That's not the rat I used to know. The rat I know used to hide in a corner crying like a baby when he received a few hits. You were even more pathetic than your brother," the man said with a grunt.

Loki had had enough. No one was allowed to talk to his hawk like that. No one. "You probably should close that mouth of yours now," he said with poison in his silk smooth voice as he rose to stand eye to eye with the man.

"Loki," Clint whispered and pulled at his lovers sleeve to make him step back.

But Loki didn't seem to notice his mortal's begging. He was too busy staring into the man's eyes with his own sharp and dangerous green ones.

The stranger snorted as if the god just had said a joke. "Really? Or what? I know _your kind_," he said with disgust in his voice as he let his glance travel up and down Loki's body, clearly judging him as a weak opponent. Loki smiled to himself. _Stupid mortal, being deceived by looks. _"You fags couldn't even hurt a fly if you wanted to," he continued with a scornful grin on his face apparently content with his insult.

But Loki didn't find it that impressive (he was after all the Silvertongue) instead he just let out a small entertained laughter. He didn't know the exact meaning of the word 'fag' but judging by the way Clint shrugged at the word it didn't seem to be that friendly and apparently being a 'fag' supposedly made you weak. _Oh this will be fun, _he thought to himself as he raised an eye brow at the man. "_I _couldn't hurt a fly?" he repeated and pointed at himself to amplify the meaning of his words.

"Loki please don't," Clint begged and pulled a little harder in Loki's sleeve because he could sense where the situation was heading.

But still the two men seemed to ignore the archer. The stranger just simply raised his brow with an amused grin. "You think that you're tough? How cute! But do you know what? I eat people like _you _for dinner. Your kind is a disgrace to this world. I saw how Barton drooled all over your face and let me tell you that queers like you are all alike. Barton has always been a coward and so are certainly you too."

Loki grunted, this time more angry than amused. He didn't like it when that mortal insulted his bird. "As I recalled it he kissed my temple, something that is far from '_drooling' _as you so poetically put it. And I can't seem to remember the last time Barton acted cowardly, probably because he never has. And I find it quite amusing that you believe you so called '_eat' _my type for dinner because my _type _have a tendency of cracking _your kinds _skull open and drink their blood," he said thinking back about that time Odin told him that he was of Jotun kind.

"What?" the man simply said clearly confused about what Loki just had said. "Are you trying to scare me? Is that what you're doing fag? Well just so you know you and your little slut…" he said and threw a quick glance at Clint before he turned back towards the frost giant. "Are no threat to me. I suggest you step back princess before you get hurt and let me have a little talk with Barton. What do you say?"

"Call him slut again and I will tear your insides out," Loki growled with fury in his emerald eyes. All the amusement he'd found in the discussion was long gone because _slut _was one word he did understand.

The stranger let out a small laughter. "Cute, then show me what you got. Hit me if you dare."

"Loki please, don't let him trigger you. Getting into a bloody fight is far from what you need right now. I've seen you in battle remember, once you've started you can't stop and haven't you already done enough harm to this town?" Clint tried and pulled at Loki's sleeve again.

"Your little whore doesn't want you to fight? Is he afraid I might make you cry?" the stranger said with a baby voice and Clint closed his eyes. He knew it was doomed.

Loki pulled his arm away from Clint and took the last step over to the man. His eyes had somehow turned red and a blue colour had started to spread up his throat. "Take that back," he roared with such authority it actually made the man take a few steps back. The stranger opened his mouth but Loki wouldn't let him utter another word.

The blow has hard and intense. It sent the human flying at least five meters backwards until he hit the ground with a loud "CRACK".

The god slowly walked over to the man twisting in pain on the ground. He looked down on the pathetic creature without an ounce of empathy in his once again green eyes. "You should be more careful with who you pick a fight with mortal. Because you see, I don't care about your life, any of you. Last year there was this woman, I tried to get my work done but she just screamed in fear of what I was doing so killed her. I made that bitch stop breathing and it felt so good. She finally shut up. And if you so much as utter a word more about Clint, I will shut you up as well, do you understand?" he asked with a vicious grin on his face and Clint once again saw the Loki he'd seen a year ago. The evil sadist. And therefore the archer couldn't move. He wanted to stop his lover but he couldn't. The change had been so rapid; he didn't know what to do.

The stranger just stared up at Loki with huge frightened eyes. His pain hindered him from saying anything or maybe it was the fear.

"Not so tough now are you, imbecile?" Loki asked and turned his back to the man with the mischievous grin still plastered on his face. As he closed in on Clint the evil look on him slowly faded away together with the last of the blue color on his skin. But the archer's terrified stare didn't falter. "What is it birdie?" Loki asked and stroked Clint's cheek with a knuckle. To his despair the archer tensed by the touch. "Are you okay Clint?"

Clint nodded but Loki could see in his lover's eyes that he lied. "Yes, can we… can we just go home now?" he asked with a shivering voice.

Loki smiled halfhearted. "Of course," he said and without uttering another word they both left the square that seemed to have completely stopped at the sudden event. The people who just a couple of minutes ago had rushed over the plaza were now completely frozen. The stranger still lay on the ground, grunting in pain. A few hungry pigeons had found the long forgotten ice creams at the feet of the bench Clint and Loki had sat on.

…

"Okay enough little bird! What is it with you?" Loki asked and let out a small cough. They hadn't said a word to each other on the whole way from the square to Clint's room and not even then seemed the archer willing to talk.

The assassin didn't answer. He just sat on the edge of his bed and stared right into the air.

Loki sighed heavily. He pulled out the chair from Clint's computer desk and sat down on it in front of his lover. "Is it that man? Who was he and why did he scare you so much?" the god asked and looked into blue eyes with his own green worried ones.

Clint shook his head. "No it isn't him. Or well it was until you decided to make a scene. Loki, you scared me today," he said. "It was as if I looked back at the old Loki, the one who could burn down the whole world just to prove a point."

The god wrinkled his brows in confusion. "Barton, I haven't changed. I still am that person. I couldn't care less about any of those pathetic creatures out there," he simply said and stretched his hand out to stroke his lover's cheek but Clint backed away. With disappointment Loki let his hand fall back to his side.

"I find that hard to believe. You came here for me, you saved my life. That old Loki would have stand by and smiled as I died. And then that kid, you talked with him without any snare comments, the old Loki would have erased him from existence for just talking to him."

Loki shook his head with a small smile on his face. "No Clint. I would have saved you back then too. If it had been anyone else then I wouldn't have moved a finger but you're different, you've always been and that's why I chose you first. And that kid happened to not disturb me, if he had then I probably wouldn't have been that kind to him. Clint, I haven't changed at all. I still do what I want when I want it. The ants of this planet's lives I do not care about. And that man today, he deserved everything that happened to him. He insulted you my bird," he said and grabbed a gentle hold of Clint's chin. He ignored how the archer's muscles tensed at the touch and instead pulled his head up so that Clint looked him straight in the eye. "And may anyone who hurts my bird feel the wrath of gods upon him."

Clint felt a blush creep up his cheeks and staring into those beautiful green eyes made the anger flow out of him. "Why do I like you Loki? Why am I so damn attracted to you? You are a murderer and a liar. You see humans as nothing but dirty peasants who ought to be extinct or enslaved. There is nothing that says that you might not get tired of me and view me in the same way you view everyone else. I should hate you Loki, I really should," he said without dropping his glance from the god.

Loki leaned in closer so that their lips almost met. "So why don't you?" he whispered with a low sensual voice that sent pleasant chills down the archer's spine.

Clint licked his lips trying to find words, which seemed a lot harder when the god was so close.

"Why Clint?" the god repeated with the same voice as before but even closer this time. His lips gently brushed against the assassin's at every word.

Barton closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to concentrate on his thoughts. He felt Loki's lips brush against his cheek and stopped at his ear. "Why don't you hate me Clint?" he whispered barely hearable against his ear before he backed away just a little bit.

Clint swallowed hard and tried to come up with anything to say at all but then he felt the god's hand brush against his growing erection and he fought back a moan. He opened his eyes to see Loki staring back at him with hungry eyes. "You know what? Fuck this," he said, grabbed hold of Loki's neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

He slid his tongue inside his lover's mouth which gained him a loud moan. He fell backwards on the bed, pulling the god down with him. He wished his fingers could move quicker as he tried to remove the layers of clothes from his lover. But the god over him was far too hot for Clint to have control over himself. Loki noticed this and let out a small chuckle before he backed away from the assassin. Clint let out a small pained noise as their lips parted.

Loki smiled widely at him as he sat up, straddling the archer. He unbuttoned his own shirt and threw it over his shoulders before he gripped hold of Clint's black T-shirt and roughly pulled it over the agent's head. "I'm going to make you scream my name," the god said with temptation in his voice, which sent shivers through Clint's aroused body. They young archer let out a loud moan as the god's lips once again was attached to his.

…

Clint had his head rested against the pale chest of his lover. He inhaled the scent of the god as he drew small invisible circles into his skin. He wanted to stay like this forever. Stay in the arm of the trickster just enjoying the whole of him.

Loki bent his head down and let his lips wander over the archer's hair before he nuzzled his nose into it and enjoyed the smell of forest. "Who was that man?" Loki suddenly asked.

Clint sighed. He had known that question would come eventually. "He's name is Jack Barber. He was one of the leaders at the orphanage I grew up in, well at least until me and my brother flew," he said and crawled even closer to the god, even if he'd thought that to be impossible.

Loki nodded understanding. "Why did you flee?" The god damned himself for not knowing more about Clint's past. He knew his present life but nothing more. The rest of the avengers he'd searched up everything about but he practically knew nothing about the archer, which mostly was due to the fact that he'd never really viewed him as an enemy.

"Because we didn't like it there," Clint simply said. He was in no state to talk about that period in his life. Not with Loki at least.

"He talked about hitting you, did he do that?" Loki asked and let his hand travel up and down his lover's naked back in a soothing motion.

"Yeah." Barton tried to fight back the tears the memories provoked in him. He couldn't understand why those memories hurt him so much as they did. He had been through a whole lot worse during his life as an adult. Maybe it was the fact that he had just been a kid at the time, a very lonely kid.

Loki leaned down and pressed a small kiss on Clint's forehead. "Tell me."

But the assassin shook his head. "No, I know you Loki. You don't want to listen to my gabble."

Loki shook his head. "The fact is that _your _gabbles are the only ones I enjoy to hear. So… tell me."

Clint sighed. There was no way out of this. "Fine. Let's just say that the orphanage wasn't exactly a five starred hotel, but they manage to keep it running just because everyone was too frightened to tell anyone. They were clever too because they hit us in places where you couldn't see the bruises unless someone pulled your clothes off. And the kids that people wanted the leaders kept their hands from." The tears got harder and harder to fight back. All those years of chronic abuse weren't something he liked to think about. He dreamt about it even today sometimes.

Loki kept completely quiet during Clint's story. He listened carefully and kept stroking his lover's back with his hand.

"I and my brother realized after some years that no one would choose us. Barney was too loud and obnoxious while I was too quiet and weird. And so we decided to get the hell out of there."

Loki stroked back the archer's sand blonde hair and kissed his forehead again. "How long did you live there?"

"For about ten eight years…. I used to hide in a corner, trying to breath as quiet as possible when the leaders seemed to be in their angry mood. But they always managed to find me. Jack was worse of them all. He used to grab hold of my leg and drag me out of my hiding place. He beat me with anything he could find until I passed out. When it was cold outside he used to throw me out in the snow and let me stay there the whole night. But well, the girls had it even worse, the older ones he used to rape… I did everything I could to hide from the leaders, it was back then then I started climbing up high things."

Loki tensed at the sudden feeling of wet against his skin. He hated that Jack Barber, he hated him for once hurting Clint and hating him for even now making the archer cry. And a part of him hated himself for not being able to sooth his lover, he simply wasn't good at those kinds of things. Since he didn't know what to say he simply put his fingers under Clint's chin and gently pulled his face up so that they looked into each other's eyes. The archer's eyes were red and his cheeks shone by the tears. He looked so weak, so vulnerable. Loki felt a stabbing pain in his heart to see his strong hawk like that. He felt like crying himself but restrained himself and instead bent down and placed an empathic kiss on the mortal's lips. Clint kissed back roughly (which muffled his heart wrecking sobs) and grabbed hold of the god's neck to pull him closer.

They probably would have continued forever if Loki hadn't broken it abruptly to bull his head to the side and cough violently.

Clint wrinkled his brows, this time rather in concern than in sorrow. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked and caressed the frost giant's pale neck with tender fingers. He reimagined how the skin had turned blue half an hour ago, he wondered why that had happened.

"Yes, of course I am. Are you?" Loki turned his green eyes towards his lover again with a worried smile on his face as he brushed away the remaining tears from Clint's cheeks with his thumb.

Barton nodded with a faint smile on his lips.

Loki looked into the hurt face before him and decided what he had to do, but it would have to wait for now because he realized he'd been away from his cell far too long. "I have to leave you now," he said with a disappointed tone to his voice. He'd much rather stayed here with his lover.

"So soon?" Clint asked with furrowed brows.

"I've been here for longer than two hours little hawk. I have to go," he said with a loving smile on his lips as he stroked his hand down the assassin's hair and neck.

"Oh, I didn't realized so much time had passed," Clint muttered and leaned his head against the hand.

"Bye Birdie," Loki whispered and leaned in for a quick peck on Clint's lips before he disappeared into thin air. Barton hoped for the good of everyone that the god materialized on some clothes before he landed in Asgard.

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**Once again, please forgive me, I am a horrible person.**

**Please leave a review on your way out! :D**

**Next chapter will hopefully be uploaded next Monday. But I can't promise anything...**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so so so so sorry for taking more than two weeks to update. Like seriously, I am so sorry. But I've been sick, high fever and the whole shebang. And when I started writing this chapter my inspiration was gone, so the beginning of this chapter is really, really bad. But I'm actually really happy about how the hospital scene turned out. **

**Anyway, thanks to everyone who faved and reviewed. You guys are seriously awesome! I have no idea what I would do without you lot! :D**

**Here it is, after a looong wait, the seventh chapter. :) A small warning for blood and evil!Loki.**

**Enjoy! :)**

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_**Chapter 7: **_

Clint knew directly that something was wrong when he finally left his room. Natasha and Bruce were sitting in the sofa talking but as Clint entered they went silent for a few seconds before both of them broke into laughter.

The archer threw a quick questioning glance at them as he passed and continued his journey towards the kitchen.

"_Oh Loki yes! Yes! Harder!" _Natasha cried out with a mock orgasm to her voice, which made Bruce laugh even louder. Clint froze in his steps. Blood running cold.

"Sounded like you two had a good time in there," the scientist said as his laughter silent down.

Icy chills shot up his spine as Clint slowly turned around to face his friends. "What?" was all he managed to get out of his mouth.

"Seriously Clint, couldn't you have been a little louder?" the Russian assassin said and giggled as she rose from the sofa and walked over to her best friend.

Clint felt how a blush grew from his neck all over his face and the embarrassment made his glance fall to his feet. He could imagine Loki's amused voice in his head: _I told you that I was going to make you scream my name. _

"Oh come on Clint, we're just joking with you," she said with a small smile and gave the archer a friendly push in the chest. But as with most things with Natasha the touch turned out a lot harder than she'd hoped for.

He took a few steps back to not lose his balance and looked up at his friend with a face red like tomato of embarrassment. He didn't want to think about everything the two avengers in front of him had heard. At the moment he just wanted to sink down into the floor and disappear.

"Although I do want to know what he did to make you squirm like that, could be affective against enemies," she said with another joking smile.

Clint rolled his eyes, but felt how his cheeks heated up. Had he really been _that _noisy?

"Seriously Clint, I've seen you being tortured in several different ways but nothing has ever made you scream like that. I have to know that trick."

"I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I?" he asked with a loud sigh.

Natasha grinned almost eerie showing her blindingly white teeth. "Oh no way."

…

Jack opened his eyes slowly. The pain was still there like a parasite clawed to his body, refusing to let go. He didn't remember much. All he remembered before waking up in a hospital bed a few hours ago was a smile. The most terrifying smile he'd ever seen in his entire life. A smile of a devil attached to the face of an angel. He remembered red eyes staring down at him and icy blue skin. But it didn't seem logical so he pushed the thought away. No human has red eyes neither does anyone have blue skin. And that smile – or grin as it more looked like- it just didn't seem to belong to a human. It was raw, rabid and animalistic.

He tried to move but every inch of his body screamed in agony so he decided it was better to stay still. Only the movement to turn his face towards the window next to him felt like being stung by a hundred needles.

The rain was falling over the grey city outside. The sound the water drops made as they hit the window over voiced the sound of the man entering his room.

"Hello, _Jack._" The poisonous voice made him jump in surprise and turned around to look right into the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. He recognized those eyes. He recognized that smile and that face. But the eyes had been red before. The skin had been blue and that smile had been an evil grin and not a satisfied smug.

Jack felt how the panic inside him rose and with roaring muscles he stretched his arm towards the alarm button, ignoring the pain. But as he pushed down the button nothing happened and when he turned back again the raven haired man chuckled.

"Nice try Mr. Winters. But you can't fool a god. Now let me see what I can do about that pain," he said and once more that beastly, evil grin of a devil was plastered over the man's lips.

Jack's blood went to ice and his heart felt like a stone in his aching chest. He wanted to run, wanted to scream but his body didn't seem to be able to do anything at all at the moment.

The man's grin widened until every tooth in his mouth was showing. "You see Mister Winters," he said as he pulled the curtains closed around Jack's hospital bed, closing them off from everyone's view. Not that anyone would have seen them in the first place. Loki had made sure the whole floor was emptied of people and that not a single second of the crime that soon was going to be committed was recorded. But he hoped the action with the curtain was going to put some fear into the older man's eyes. He got what he wanted. "You can't just walk around and insult gods like you did today. And you definitely choose the wrong bird to mess with all those years ago," he said and walked slowly over to the bed.

Jack didn't understand what the man was talking about but he was far too frightened to care. He opened his mouth to ask what he was going to do to him. But no words left his mouth and to his horror he realized it was because he had no voice to give. He couldn't make even the smallest sound escape his lips. Eyes struck with terror rose to meet slug green ones.

"I told you I would shut you up, didn't I? How does it feel?" the man asked and leaned down so that his nose was a few inches over Jack's. The human tried to move, tried to hit the monster above him with his fist but his body was like glued to the madras. _What's happening? Is this that man's work? How does he do it? _

"How does it feel to be pressed into a corner? To be so, so scared but having no way to defend yourself? How does it feel to be too weak to fight back?" he asked with such venom in his words it made Jack's blood corrode.

Loki wanted the man to scream on the inside in total fear, just like Clint had done all those years in the past. He wanted the man to suffer, to pay the price of his crimes with his life. Because he had hurt Clint. He had hurt Loki's beloved bird, and that cannot be left unpunished.

The god studied the fear in the man's eyes for a while before he backed away biting his lower lip with a grin. Suddenly he started coughing violently. He grabbed hold of the drapery to keep himself on his feet. Jack noticed the few drops of blood on the stranger's arm when he pulled it away from his mouth. And for a minute the god's hold of him had died out and Jack realized he could once more move and talk. "Don't do this, please, I beg of you! I have a wife! I have a child!" he yelled out in pure desperation.

"SILENCE!" Loki roared with a hoarse voice and closed his hand into a fist in front of himself. It felt like Jack's throat was tied into a tight knot, he couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe. Panic drowned him and he felt how his whole body shook in fear.

It craved a lot of power from Loki to control the man's muscles. Power he didn't have when his own body was fighting a war within itself. He was slowly draining himself from power and only keeping the man from talking was hard enough for him. "You have an offspring? Do you treat him like you treated Clint? Do you know what mister Winters? Through my whole life have I been taught how evil and disgusting my kind is and about how wonderful and precious your kind is. But I have come to another conclusion. You are the most sickening, heartless, pathetic creatures alive. You don't deserve to even be a part of this universe. People have considered me the face of the Devil when the real scum of this world is and will always be you!" he growled and released the magic hold of the man's throat for two reasons. Firstly because he needed to grab hold of the back of a chair to keep himself on his feet when his power was sinking even lower and secondly because the man was starting to die due to the lack of oxygen. He broke into another violent wave of coughs, spitting blood on the floor.

Jack's lungs ached on the sudden introduction to air again. "Don't do this!" he managed to get out between his rasp breaths.

"Why not? I'll take so much pleasure in it," the god said and lifted his head to meet the man's terrified stare. Loki wore an evil grin Jack had learnt to recognize by now and his lips were colored red by his own blood. Every little ounce of human in his features had been replaced by something raw and terrifying.

The agony was torturing but Jack couldn't scream, or maybe he could. The only thing he was aware of was the pain and the crushing laughter of his killer.

The roaring screams died away and the blood stains on the curtains started to run down along the white fabric. Inside those draperies there was a dead man in a bed and a god falling handless to the bloodied ground.

…

Loki didn't visit the next day. Clint didn't lay too much focus on that because he knew that the god couldn't visit him every day. He was after all a prisoner kept in a cell. But when Loki hadn't visited him for two weeks he started to get frustrated, not to say worried. Thor was nowhere to be seen either so he couldn't possibly ask him about it.

He brought it up with the other avengers but they just waved it off. "He's probably busy being grumpy," Tony said and elbowed him with a wry grin on his face.

"He might gone bored with you and left," he told his own reflection in the mirror but knew that it wasn't true. He knew Loki, and he knew that the god was far too fond of him to just leave him like this. It must have happened something, something grand. But what?

And stumbling upon a conversation on the street between two girls about a man named _Jack_ _Winters _being brutally murdered in a hospital two weeks earlier didn't make the situation better. Had Loki something to do with it? Of course he had. Clint remembered that pure hatred he'd seen in the god's eyes as they talked about Jack.

Was Loki in trouble? The girls hadn't mentioned anything about a suspect, but that was something the police might have wanted to keep a secret from the press. Was Loki hunted by the police? No, Clint would have heard of him if that had been the case. Loki wasn't the person that fled after all. He was far too proud for that. So what had happened? Where was Loki and more importantly in what state was he?

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**Review please! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**You guys are seriously awesome! Thanks for all your reviews and favs and stuff! Virtual cookies for everyone! :D**

**And see! I managed to get another chapter up in a week! Yay! I will try to continue doing that, but just so you know... I just got my schedual for this school periode and well it aint looking good.**

**This chapter may be a bit boring but guys, I couldn't help it. There just is something with Frigga trying to talk to Loki that I love and that warms my heart! :)**

**Anywho... please enjoy! :D**

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_**Chapter 8:**_

Frigga sighed heavily and put her hand on her son's forehead. The fever had gone down and he was breathing normally, she was grateful for that. But it didn't make her any less worried. Her little baby boy was sick and there was nothing she could do about it. Idun's apples usually kept them healthy but Loki had still gotten sick. He had eaten his apple, she'd seen it with her own eyes.

No one could still claim Loki was faking it, not after seeing the mess he was and had been for the last two weeks.

"Honey, what happened to you?" she whispered quiet enough to not wake him up as he gently stroked his cheek with her knuckles. "How did you get sick?"

He mumbled something un-hearable before he slowly opened his feverish red and pale eyes. She was used to the intensity and strength his stare usually beheld, but now it was empty and helpless.

"Mother?" he said with a weak voice before he remembered the fact that she was no longer a mother of his.

"I'm here Loki. Are you ready to tell me now?" she asked. He had had his times of waking up but then he'd been in a far too bad state to talk. Now when the fever had gone down he seemed a bit better.

"About what?" he asked and furrowed his brows.

"Well for a start how you got so ill and then how about you tell me why you killed that man in the hospital. We found you unconscious in the poor man's blood Loki. You were lucky we found you and got you out of there before the police arrived," she said and stroked her hand through the god of mischief's hair.

Normally Loki would have cringed at the touch and pushed her away, but in his weak and feverish state he welcomed the act of affection. "I don't know how I got ill," he lied. "That man you're speaking of deserved what was given to him."

She raised a brow, clearly not believing in him. "Loki, please. Drop the façade; drop the lies just for this time okay? I am your mother and I love you. Tell me, what happened to you? And why did you kill that man?"

Loki sighed. He damned himself for using so much of his powers on Jack so that he completely drained himself, leaving his body completely without protection. Idun's apples had weakened the gods' natural immune system to a dangerously low level simply because their bodies didn't need a n immune system of their own when they had the apples. But his powers were building up once again and he could focus them on healing and protecting himself. "Mother, I honestly do not know how i got ill. About that man, let's just say he hurt someone I care about," he said not caring that much about the fact that he just called Frigga his mother for the second time in just a few minutes.

"What do you mean 'he hurt someone you care about'?" she asked and stroked a few stray strands of hair from his forehead.

"I mean that he chronically abused someone that is truly dear to me. And I merely punished him for that."

A small light seemed to be lit in the old lady's eyes and she smiled brightly at her wayward son. "You have found someone? Is that what you are saying? Oh honey, you need to tell me all about her," she said shining like a diamond.

Loki grinned bitter sweet, _this is going to be so fun! _"His name is Clint, Clint Barton. He's human," he said simply and watched with amusement how the smile disappeared from Frigga's face.

"Oh," she said and frowned. "Oh. Isn't he Thor's friend? The one that was dying?" she asked without looking at him.

"Yes," he simply answered and studied every little movement his adoptive mother made.

"Does he… Does Thor know about your… relationship?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "Yes he does. And he doesn't seem to care. He for one has realized that I'm a grown man and can make my own decisions in life, which is shocking judging by how he usually treats me," he said with as much venom in his words that his weak body managed to produce. He wanted his words to sting and apparently they did because Frigga was now looking at him with hurt written all over her face.

She sighed deeply and took his hands in hers gently, stroking them with her thumb. "How did we come to this Loki? What have we done to deserve that burning hate you feel for us these days? I understand you may feel betrayed by Odin but believe me, we have never done anything but loved you. You have to see that," she said with tears being formed in the corner of her eye. She couldn't stand the thought of losing her son. And sometimes when she looked into those green eyes it seemed like she already had. But seldom times– like now- she could see that old Loki, the one that had loved his family with all his heart, deep inside that green color.

"Sweet words mother. But I know they are nothing more than that, words. You cannot fool me, not anymore," he said and pulled his hands away from her. Because her touch was starting to burn him, and not in the exciting way Clint's touch usually did.

Frigga sighed again. Her son's words hit her like daggers and it felt like someone was ripping her heart apart. Why didn't he believe her? Why didn't he understand? "Loki, we will always love you and I hope that you one day will understand that. Now tell me about that Clint. How is he doing?" she asked to change the subject, feeling that they weren't coming anywhere with their talk.

Loki raised a brow at his mother, surprised over the caring tone in her voice. He had expected hatred and disappointment "Not well. They are doing the best they can to keep him alive, but it's not looking good." He knew he had to lie, because if Frigga knew that Clint was miraculously getting better while Loki was getting terribly ill she would start suspecting something and he couldn't let that happen, not yet at least. Of course Thor had already started suspecting the truth and talked to Loki about it a few times. But Thor had always been weak to Loki's lies, always –without exceptions- falling for them no matter what. Frigga however wasn't as easily fooled as the oldest of her sons. Therefor she had to be kept as far from the truth as possible.

She frowned. "I'm so sorry about that Loki," she said and sounded legitimately honest.

"Well, he would be doing so much better if he'd gotten some of Idun's apples," he mumbled to himself but intentionally loud enough for Frigga to hear.

The old woman bit her lip and shook her head, tears glimmering in her eyes. "Loki, you know we can't give him that. I would love to save your… friend, but we just can't."

"So you expect me to just stand by and watch him die?" he asked raising a brow at her. "Is that where your so called love for me ends? You can't even give an apple, of which we do have hundreds of, to save the man that I hold the closest to my heart?"

"Son, you know perfectly well why we can't give him an apple. Be reasonable now. I don't want to say this to you, because I hurt seeing you hurt but you need to think clearly. He will die eventually. The length of a man's life is nothing compared to the life of a god. Do you really want to stand by and watch him being consumed by old age and slowly fade away?" she asked and stroked her hand through Loki's hair which made him shudder.

He rolled his eyes. "You and I both know that love seldom last forever. And even if my… fascination for this man last his whole life time there is nothing that says I couldn't leave this life with him. I've lived long enough," he answered and backed away from his mother's touch.

Right now there were few things Loki wanted more than for her to leave. His body was feeling worse and worse the more he had to speak. He just wanted to be left alone so that he could rest.

She stared at him in pure shock for a moment before her eyes went teary again. "You don't mean that!" she exclaimed. "Do you understand how much that would shatter our family, we…"

She was interrupted by Loki roaring, raspy voice. "FAMILY? THIS FAMILY WAS SHATTERED THE DAY ODIN DECIDED TO STEAL ME FROM MY HOME!" His outburst had torn his lungs and throat which resulted in a violent outbreak of coughs.

"Loki!" Frigga cried out in a mixture of hurt from what he'd just said and worry for his health. She reached out her arms to embrace him soothingly. But he pushed her hands away rather violently while he tried to breath between his coughs.

"Leave," he growled when his coughing took a break.

"Loki," she started. This time she was too afraid to come any closer to her son.

"LEAVE!" he yelled at the top of his voice followed by another salvo of coughs.

Frigga closed her eyes. Feeling a twinge of pain in the center of her heart as she slowly backed out of the room.

…..

Within a week after his and Frigga's argument Loki had regained enough of his power to keep the sickness at bay to the degree that he could leave the bed. But his mother had decided that it was best if she had him insight all the time so that nothing could happen to him while he was ill. "Just hold on until Monday, Loki. Then you will get an apple and hopefully this disease will die away," she had told him. They couldn't just simply give him an apple now because eating more than one apple during the timespan of a month could lead to devastating effects. He had just simply smiled at her, as if he actually was going to eat that bloody fruit.

Having trained guards watching every little step he took like Hugin and Munin made it completely impossible for him to sneak away to his beloved hawk.

He wondered if Clint knew why he hadn't come to him, he wondered if he understood. He'd tried to ask Thor if he'd told the assassin about him but every time he tried the guards were so close they would have heard every word and he simply didn't want to attract more suspicious from his mother. So he waited for Monday to come and when it finally did he couldn't wait for Idun to deliver her apples. But this time it would be trickier to get hold of an apple he would change Idun's with. But after a small well-planned operation involving a kettle and some string he managed to fool the guards to look away for long enough for him to steal an apple from a bowl of fruits in his prison cell.

Idun looked at him knowingly as she gave him the golden apple. He smiled to her without actually showing any emotions. Partly because his body was screaming in tumult from the raging war that took place within him and partly because he simply didn't care for that woman at all. Just like before he changed the apple with the golden colored apple in his pocket when no one noticed, which was harder this time because now both his mother and Thor kept an eye on him.

After the lunch his mother was convinced that Loki would slowly get better so she called the guards off. It may also have involved Loki shouting at her for suffocating him by not letting him be alone.

Loki sighed heavily when he for the first time in several days completely alone in his room. He truly felt like he could breathe again. But he didn't stay long because he had an agent to visit.

….

As soon as Clint saw the tall god he threw himself into his arms. But Loki, whose body just got weaker and weaker, wasn't strong enough for the surprise attack, which sent both of them to the ground. Loki made a small suppressed noise as his back hit the floor and the short Archer landed on top of him. He opened his mouth to make a complaint but was silenced down by Clint's mouth meeting his in a passionate, longing kiss. When Clint broke free after a while Loki didn't even have time to open his eyes before he received a hard open fisted hit over his cheek.

"Fucker, where have you been? You have no idea how freaking worried I've been!" Clint exclaimed and when Loki opened his eyes he met Clint's hurt glance.

"I was sick, Frigga wouldn't let me out of her sight," he answered looking straight into Clint's eyes. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but he just simply couldn't. His pride wouldn't let him.

Clint narrowed his blue eyes, judging if Loki's story sounded believable. "You killed Jack," he said instead of simply revealing if he believed in his lover or not. There were things he needed to know before he could decide what to think.

Loki sighed and pulled his hand through Clint's hair and then let it rest on his cheek. His thumb was caressing his lover's skin as he answered. "Yes I did. He hurt you. Your honor had been damaged by that man and I healed it for you," he said as simply as if he'd been talking about the weather.

Clint bit his lip and shook his head. He wanted to yell at Loki, tell him that you don't walk around and kill people just because they have wronged you. Tell him that this wasn't Viking Sweden. But then he had to remind himself of which profession Clint himself had and he pressed back the matter. It really didn't matter at the moment anyway. Because everything that mattered was that Loki was back in his arms and safe. So he bent down and kissed his lover again.

Loki let a small smile slip his lips as he felt the taste of his lover taking over his senses, but Clint didn't miss that small pull of the corners of Loki's lips. Be backed away a bit to look at his beautiful god.

The god grinned widely, showing his blending teeth. "I've got a present for you," he said and pulled out the apple from his pocket with the hand that wasn't stroking Clint's cheek.

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**So what did you lot think? Please leave a review on your way out! :D**

**And no... I couldn't resist the Doctor Who reference, it was just simply too tempting. ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yes! I manage to write another chapter for this Monday, you have no idea how much that craved from me! **

**Thank you all who have faved and reviewed, you guys are really incredible and I wouldn't have managed to get this chapter up in time without your encouragment! So really, thank you! :)**

**This chapter was written in a bit of a haste so it probably isn't that good but anyway, here it is. Enjoy! :)**

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_**Chapter 9:**_

As Clint was sitting in the white sofa, eating his apple he took a moment to really look at his lover for the first time since he arrived. The God, who was now sitting closely to him, was even paler than before and he seemed to have lost even more weight. He started to look like a skeleton and it scared Clint like nothing else. The green eyes that once had been sparkling intensely with all kinds of emotions were now similar to the eyes of a dead man.

He leaned his head to the side so that his forehead rested against Loki's temple. Simply in an act to feel his temperature. He gulped at the burning warmth of the god's skin. He was having a fever, a high one to that.

"I'm fine Barton. Just eat your apple," Loki said as if he'd felt the icing in Clint's blood. The god's voice sounded strange. His strong and mesmerizing voice was replaced by something weaker and a bit rasp.

"You're having a fever," he stated after taking another bite of the golden apple in his hand. He figured it was best to do as he was told, since that probably was the best way to get what he wanted from Loki.

Loki sighed heavily and put his hand on Clint's knee. "There's no need to worry Clint. I'm a god remember? It's not like I can die," he said and put a small kiss on his lover's forehead.

"But…" Clint started but was interrupted by the trickster.

"Barton! Don't worry," he said and tried to sound as believable as possible.

Clint raised a brow at his lover. He knew better than to trust Loki's word but since the god obviously had no intention in telling him anything he decided to drop the subject.

He let his head slid down and rest against the god's boney shoulder as he kept eating the apple in complete silence. When he was done he threw it straight into the dustbin on the other side of the room without even having to look, thank you archer skills.

He bit his lip and looked up at his lover. "Thor told me that there was no way in Hell anyone, no matter how skilled, could steal an apple from Idun," he said suddenly.

"Mhm," Loki simply answered.

"So… how did you get ahold of one?"

Loki felt how his heart started to pound faster and faster within him, but he couldn't let Clint know that. "I'm not like anyone else Clint. I transformed into a falcon and stole one from her garden that way," he said with a shrug of shoulders, hoping the lie would suffice.

But Clint wasn't that easily fooled. "Thor said that Idun knew exactly how many apples she has in her garden," he muttered and felt how Loki stiffened a bit at his words.

"I replaced it with an identically looking one," he said.

"You need a falcon guise to turn into a falcon Loki. You would need to borrow one from Freja in order to turn. And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't lend you hers," a voice said from behind them. They both turned to see Thor standing in the door way.

"Thor," Loki started but was quickly interrupted by his brother.

"Don't try that old: 'I managed to sneak past the guards by making a copy of myself walking over and talk to them', because I talked to the guards and they had not seen you. And Loki, you and me both now that Idun would see the difference between her apple and a fake one, no matter how well made it was," the god of thunder said as he walked over to them and sat down in an armchair in front of them.

Loki threw a quick glance at Clint who now was staring at him with confusion written all over his stunning features. Loki was starting to feel uneasy because it felt like he had run out of lies and his head hurt too much to be able to produce new ones. He scratched the bridge of his nose and tried to concentrate, tried to find a way out but it seemed to be of no use. He only got one choice. He had to tell Thor about everything.

He lifted his head and met his adoptive brother's intense blue gaze. "Can we talk about this in private, Thor?" he asked because he could not let Clint know about it, he knew it would hurt the archer too much.

"No!" Clint exclaimed and sat up straight in the sofa to stare at his lover. "Fuck you Loki! I have a right to know! If it even is half as serious as you two are making it sound right now I have a fucking right to know about it! I tell you everything Loki! Every bloody thing! Is it so much to ask that you for once return that favor?" The assassin was shaking in anger and his eyes looked somewhat crazed.

Loki felt a twinge of pain in his chest but he couldn't let himself show it. Instead he just smiled warmly and caressed Clint's cheek with his palm before he rose up to face Thor. "Come with me," he told the blonde god before he went into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Clint," Thor muttered before he followed his brother and closed the door behind him.

Barton fell back in the sofa with a loud grunt. "Idiots. Treating me like some kid just because I'm human," he muttered genuinely irritated as he crossed his arms. To be honest he almost was a child with his 40 years compared to the brother's many thousand years of age, but that wasn't the point!

He bit his lip and tried to listen to their discussion in the kitchen. He didn't dare walking over to the door and put his ear against it since Loki probably would notice it.

Clint tried his best to concentrate on their voices but they talked too low for him to be able to make anything out. But suddenly Thor's voice echoed through the walls. "YOU DID WHAT?!" The frustration and shock in the god's voice sent shivers through Clint's spine and he was feeling really uneasy now. What had Loki done?

Thor's voice was followed with Loki's snakelike hushes, trying to make his brother shut up. He then said something but Clint couldn't make it out.

"Brother," the god of thunder said loudly with a hint of sadness. There was defeat in his voice. Whatever Loki had said it had gotten through to the butch god. A few seconds later they both left the kitchen. Loki had an uncomfortable look on his face and his shoulders weren't as pushed back as they usually were. Thor looked completely devastated, like a puppy left outside in heavy rain.

Clint opened his mouth to say something but no sound left his lips. Both men were in a state he never thought he ever would see them in and it took him a bit off guard.

"I'll see you later, brother," Thor said without letting his glance leave the floor before he left the room.

Loki sighed heavily and watched his brother's back as he left. He then shook his head and walked over to sit next to his lover.

It was now an icy feeling in the atmosphere of the room. Neither of the men knew what to say to the other, something that was highly unusual for the raven haired god.

After sitting completely quiet for what felt like ages Clint decided it was time to break the torturous silence. "What was all that about? Tell me Loki. Don't treat me like a kid." Clint searched for Loki's glance and once he got it the green color was stained with a troubled look.

Loki sighed. "I gave you my apples," he said at last and drew his brows together in a look of worry.

Clint didn't understand. What was he so upset about? Was he worried that Clint would be mad at him? For what reason? "Okay… and why is Thor so upset about it and why do you look like you've just sold your soul to the devil?"

Loki bit his lip, forcing back a sigh of relief. _So he doesn't know! Then I still have a chance. _He had suspected that Clint didn't know the whole story about Idun's apples but he'd still been worried. Everything wasn't lost yet, he could still make this_. One big lie coming up!_ "When a god doesn't eat his apples for quite some time, he becomes mortal."

Clint raised his brows high up his forehead. _So that's why he was so worried and Thor was so upset. Loki has chosen to give up his eternal life, for me? He was right to be worried though, how could he!? _"You're saying that you gave up your life for me? Fuck you Loki! How could you do that?" he yelled at him. He hit his lover on the chest with the backside of his hand hard enough to make the sick man cough.

Loki's feverish, swollen eyes looked up at him once more. "I only gave away my eternal life Clint! I still have pretty much all your life left to live. I've already lived thousands of years Clint. Fifty years more is almost too much. And tell me, wouldn't you have done the same thing if you were in my shoes?"

Clint nodded. "I guess you're right," he said even though he still felt pretty bad for being the reason Loki's life had just been shortened down drastically. He sighed and leaned down to a lying position on the couch with his head resting in Loki's knee. "But that doesn't mean I'm not pissed at you."

Loki laughed and stroked his hand through his lover's short hair.

…

Thor walked into his large, golden color room just to find his mother sitting on the edge of his king size bed in the middle of the chamber. He was a bit put off because his mother seldom visited his room, only when she had something important to discuss with him. His blood started to boil in his veins at the thought. Was it about Loki? Did she know?

He slowly closed the door behind him and walked over to sit next to her. "Mother," he simply said, not sure what else to do. Loki had always been the son gifted with words.

"We need to talk Thor," she said with her business voice. And there was no longer any doubt. She only ever used that voice when it was something really, really important.

He gulped and looked down at his knees. How incredibly interesting playing with your fingers could be all of a sudden. "About what?" he asked feeling a bit light headed.

"Loki," she answered while studying every little twitch of muscles her son made.

Thor gulped again. Why was he suddenly so thirsty? "What about him?"

"Where is he?" she asked and Thor felt ice cold shivers spread all the way down his spine.

"In his cell, as usual," he lied wondering if Frigga knew it only was an illusion of Loki that sat by the window. His question was soon answered.

"I went to visit him. He didn't answer when I talked to him so I walked over to put my hand on his shoulder, but as my hand made contact with him he disappeared into thin air. Funny, isn't it?" she said with sarcasm all over her voice. Thor bit his lip so hard he started to taste blood on the tip of his tongue. "Where is he Thor?"

"With Clint," he said. He was aware of Frigga's knowledge about Loki's relationship with the archer but he found no use in lying about where Loki was. She would have guessed the truth anyway. And even though she may not like her sons' relationship with humans but she had come to accept it since it obviously brought them happiness.

She closed her eyes and nodded slowly. "I thought so. Thor, what is going on with your brother?"

Thor went quiet, he knew that question would come. It had been so easy to lie to Frigga about Clint's state of health before today. But now he knew the true reason of how the archer had been cured. He was torn in two. Would he tell her mother the truth like a good son would do? Or would he protect Loki like a true brother would? He thought back about the discussion in the kitchen.

_Loki had walked over to the counter, putting his hands roughly against it and turned his back against Thor. The god of thunder had almost been able to see the conflict going on in his brother's brain._

"_Tell me brother," he had whispered in an as soft voice he could muster._

_Loki had turned around slowly with panic written all over his face. "Please don't make me. If I do you will destroy everything!" he had said with a shaking voice. Thor wasn't used to seeing his younger brother like that. Fact was that the last time he had seen him like this was when he was hanging down the Bifrost, begging for their father's approval one last time. The sight was tearing in his heart._

"_I would never do anything to hurt you brother. Tell me."_

_Loki bit his lip and let one small tear fall down his pale cheek. He looked like a man waiting to be shot. He let his head fall down, chin resting against his chest as he told his brother the truth with a whisper so quiet Thor had to concentrate to hear him. "I gave him my apples."_

"_YOU DID WHAT?!" Thor screamed out with a voice so loud it could have scared a kitten to death. But Loki didn't even twitch, he had obviously expected that reaction._

"_Shhh," Loki hushed him_ _and lifted his head and met his brother's glance with narrowed eyes. "I am fully prepared to die for him Thor. Wouldn't you have done the same for Jane? If you knew she was dying and there was no way to save her, no other way than to give your own life instead, would you even have hesitated to do it?" he asked._

_Thor knew his brother was right. And he knew that no one would be able to stop Loki from finishing his plan, because he knew how far he himself would go in order to save Jane's life. "Brother," he said and felt how tears began to form in his eyes._

"_Don't tell anyone," Loki hissed before he went for the door._

Thor closed his eyes tightly and pushed his thoughts away before he turned to look at his mother.

There was hurt in her eyes. Hurt mixed with worry. She loved both of her sons. She loved them more than she loved anything and losing anyone of them would mean the end of her. Thor studied that love in her eyes. She would not be able to handle Loki's death. She would not be able to watch him die for some Earthling.

Thor pulled his hands through his long hair and opened his mouth to answer her question.

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**Dun, dun, dun, duuuun. I'm sorry for the cliffhanger XD**

**Please review you guys!**

**I'll hopefully see you lot next Monday! Take care! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**I am so sorry for taking so darn long time to upload but school is really taking up all my time! :(**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Especially those of you who weren't logged in since I couldn't PM a thanks to you guys! (L) :)**

**An extremely short chapter with some serious angst... I am so so sorry! :(**

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_**Chapter 10**_

Loki was almost afraid of going back to Asgård that day. He was afraid that Odin and Frigga would meet him with frowning faces. That they would take away his powers and lock him up in a dark hole somewhere where they force fed him Idun's apples.

He was afraid that they wouldn't let him see Barton again and that his little bird would stop singing because of them. He was so terrified that he for a minute considered not going back at all. But that thought was easily silenced down for three reasons. The first reason was because he needed to get back so he could keep getting the apples. The second reason was that Odin would send his two ravens Hugin and Munin which would search every little corner of Earth for him. And not even his magic during his healthy time could hide him from their gaze. The third reason (and maybe even the most important) was that he wasn't a coward of any kind. And he would never take such a primitive escape route.

So therefore he found himself once more in the huge golden corridors of Asgård tipping on his toes. He was observant of every noise that was made and made sure he wasn't caught. But it didn't make him any less frightened over the fact that Odin could be standing right behind the next corner. But he never did and slowly Loki was starting to calm down. That was of course until he entered his prison cell and found Thor and Frigga waiting for him.

His whole body went stiff as a stick and he couldn't seem to remember how to breathe. He looked at his so called mother's severe expression on her face and could only deduce one thing: _Thor told her. He freaking told her. He's dead, I'm dead, _he thought to himself. But he wasn't going to let them take him down like some pathetic human. He was going down with pride. So he squared his shoulders and held his head high even though he felt like he was going to throw up.

"Loki we need to talk," Frigga said with a dagger like voice that cut right through the thick tension in the air.

Loki's head started spinning at those words but he wasn't going to let her notice that. "So be it," he simply said and hoped that his voice didn't sound as nervous as he felt.

She crossed her arms and walked up to him. Thor followed like a loyal little puppy in her footsteps.

_How stupid I was! How could I not understand that Thor obviously would fail me? I should have enchanted him, I should have done something! _Loki knew perfectly well that he was far from powerful enough at the moment to do anything even remotely close to enchant someone, but that didn't stop him from wishing that he had. _Thor is too much of a coward to go against his beloved mother. I curse him for ever trying to make me believe I meant as much to him as a real brother would._

"This has to stop, you know that right?" she asked, staring in to his green eyes with such an intense stare he thought it could burn through metal. It was lucky for him then that his eyes were so much stronger than any kind metal on Earth or on Asgård.

"I'm not quite sure what you're talking about Frigga," he answered. He refused to call her 'mother' and he refused to lose the kind of childish staring contest.

"Don't play stupid Loki. Because if there is one thing I'm still sure that I know about you it is that you're not stupid!"

Loki threw a quick glance at Thor who looked back at him without a single sign or regret in his eyes. _You damn fool!_ He looked back at Frigga and looked into her eyes again. "Humor me woman! Tell me what has to stop." Because he wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to hear the disappointment and shame in her voice as she voiced out the fact that he once more had disobeyed their rules for his own will. He wanted to see her once more ashamed over the fact that they couldn't control him no matter how much they tried.

"The relationship with that human. It's poisoning you Loki. Do you have any idea what Odin would do if he found out that you sneak out regularly to be with that man? When I found out what you've been doing I was close to tell him myself, but then I thought it was wiser to speak with you about it. I knew you were in relations with that man but I had no idea that you break out of your cell to meet him so often. There is no doubt in my mind that it is him who is making you sick. Loki, this has to end!"

Loki stood there for a couple of seconds. Just staring at his mother dumbfounded. _What? _He couldn't seem to understand what she just had said. Did that mean that she didn't know? Had Thor not told her after all? Loki was so confused and somewhat happy he really had no idea what to do anymore. It was first when he realized that he was gaping that he managed to actually say something at all. "He's not making me sick. If there is anyone who's making me sick then it is you and that husband and son of yours. He if anyone is making me better. I am a part of something when I'm with him. I belong somewhere and with him I am appreciated."

Once more in her life Frigga found herself on the border of breaking. Her beloved raven haired, clever son had once more proven the fact that she had lost him. He had torn apart that bondage he had once had with his family and he was determined to let it be broken. She felt the tears sting in her eyes and she knew she couldn't have this argument, not today at least. Today she just wanted to bury herself deep in thoughts as far away from this as possibly because her already tainted heart was screaming inside her.

"Let's take this another day okay. Just… just think about it okay?" she said and stormed out of the room without waiting for his reply.

Loki let out a quite long breath of relief as she shut the door behind her but he couldn't relax just yet. He lifted his head to look up at his adoptive brother before him. He went over his coming words a few times in his head before he started talking. "You didn't tell her?"

Thor shook his head and crossed his arms. "No. I'm not sure where I would stop in order to save Jane but I'm sure I would be well prepared to do what you are doing at the moment. Besides, it's not my duty to tell mother. But please Loki, stop this. You have no idea how much your death will affect us all. And if you now don't care about how devastated your own family will become then think about Clint. Do you think he will be happy to know that you're dead because of him? I can assure you brother that Clint would much rather die than seeing you die because of him. I know that as his friend and as someone who's in love."

Loki opened his mouth to say something rather offensive in return but was quickly interrupted by the other god. "Just do as mother said okay? Think about it," and with those words Thor left his brother alone with his thoughts.

But despite encouragement from both his mother and his brother he didn't think about it. He kept stealing apples, kept sneaking away to get some time with Clint and he kept getting worse. Of course both Frigga and Thor knew that he was still seeing his bird but they didn't tell Odin about any of it. Thor kept his mouth shut simply because he'd promised Loki, even though he felt like it would have been better if Odin simply knew about it. Frigga on the other hand noticed the smile upon Loki's thin and pale face every time he returned from his agent and as a mother she knew that she couldn't take that happiness away from him. Even though she still thought that that man was poison for her young son. But she had come to the conclusion that that was something Loki would better find out himself.

Several months had gone by and Loki was now too sick to move out of his bed. He was now literally nothing else than skin and bone and his eyes were nothing but a faint memory of the emerald gems they once had been. Of course Clint didn't know about this. Thor wasn't allowed to tell him and it hurt the god. Because every time he returned to the Avengers' tower Clint came over to him and asked him where Loki was and why he hadn't come to visit yet that month. Every time Thor answered the same thing: "He's under heavy surveillance from father, but he'll come with that apple for you in the end of the month, don't worry." And every time Clint answered the same thing: "Well, as I keep telling you Thor, it's not the apple I'm looking forward to." It hurt Thor, it hurt him so badly to see Clint happy and excited. Because he knew what Clint didn't know. He knew that in the end of that month it wouldn't be Loki that brought him the apple, it would never be again. And so every time he had come to visit he left with the same dark cloud over him that threatened to eat him whole.

Idun had come to Loki's room to give him the apple there since he couldn't make it to the big dining hall.

"I must confess that I'm quite impressed by you Loki. I could never have guessed you would sacrifice so much for someone that isn't you," she said and handed over the apple to Thor who stood by the side of the bed. She knew there was no idea in giving it to Loki himself since he wasn't going to eat it anyway.

When she'd left Thor turned towards his brother with tears in his eyes. "Brother please," he whispered.

Loki looked at him with his empty eyes. He tried to get the message across without saying anything since he was too weak to form any words. And even though his eyes couldn't show any emotions Thor seemed to understand anyways because he nodded and wiped his tears away.

"I'm sorry Clint," Thor said and tried to master his own voice, which wasn't exactly easy since that picture of a skeleton like Loki lying on his death bed back home in Asgård kept appearing in his mind.

Clint shook his head and accepted the apple from the blond god. "It's okay. Just. He'll come soon right? I mean I don't want so sound like an over attached girlfriend or something I just… I just kind of miss him," he said and tried to hide the real level of disappointment that he felt.

Thor smiled a kind of sad smile at his friend because at the moment that was the only thing he could achieve. "He'll come as soon as he gets a chance. I promise you," he said and left because his eyes were starting to hurt again, which they seemed to do a lot lately.

A few weeks later Clint was getting frustrated. He missed his lover and he didn't seem to know what to do without him. He also found it strange that Loki couldn't even escape his home to be with him for one second. Loki was after all the master of such things. And he wondered how on Earth Loki managed to steel apples if Odin was having him under such hard surveillance. There simply was something that didn't add up and that was why he found himself searching for 'Idun's apples' on Google. What he found was something so horrible it made him scream 'NO' so loudly it echoed through the whole Avengers' tower.

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**As said, I am so sorry for that ending and well... it ain't getting better...**

**Please leave a review on your way out! ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**OH MY NORSE GOD! I am so sorry! Like really, really sorry for taking so freaking long time to update. You really should execute me!**

**Thank you all who've reviewed and faved and waited! I love you guys! *Cyber hugs***

**I won't hold you up any longer. Here's the very delayed eleventh chapter. Sorry for the excrutiatong angst in this chapter... :(**

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_**Chapter 11**_

Thor knew he should have listened to his guts. He knew he should have listen to that voice within him that whispered, _don't go to the Avengers' tower today, don't. _But Thor hadn't listened. Not that he actually could have known anyway. How could he possibly have known that Clint had found out the true power of the apples and gone totally mental?

Agent Barton had him pushed up against a wall. Fingers digging deep into the god's shirt and skin so hard it would have created bruises on a mortal.

Thor knew he could easily push the human off him but he didn't. Clint was obviously hurt and furious; the best thing was to keep a low profile.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME!? TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE!" the archer screamed at the top of his lungs with tears shining in his red eyes.

Thor considered lying for a few seconds before he dropped that idea. Clint would find out sooner or later, lying to him would only hurt him more. And besides, lying had never been his strong side, that skill belonged to his brother.

He sighed heavily and met the heart brokened human's desperate stare with his own tired eyes. He hadn't left his brother's side one second if it hadn't been absolutely necessary. Seeing his beloved little brother slowly fading away was the worst thing he'd done in his entire life. And the worst thing was the fact that there was nothing he could do about it, nothing but to wait for the end.

"I'm sorry Clint. Loki didn't want you to know," he said feeling how it twinged in his heart as he saw how the last bit of hope inside Clint's eyes shatter.

"FUCKING SELFISH BASTARD! IMMA KILL HIM!" he screamed out and dug his fingers even deeper into Thor's skin even though he'd thought it impossible. His behavior then suddenly changed, he realized what he'd just said and froze. A single tear fell down his cheek as he lifted his red shattered eyes up to Thor's gaze. "How much time does he have left?" he asked with a voice that he obviously had a hard time getting out.

Thor didn't want to answer that, he really didn't. Partly because he didn't want to hurt his friend but mostly because it would hurt so much to say it. If he didn't actually say it out loud it felt less real and he could almost imagine Loki walking out of it alive. "Not much," was all he managed to get out. His usually strong voice reminded him now of that of a little scared child.

"How much, Thor?" Barton asked again, obviously wanting to know the exact number.

He really didn't want to say it, but he guessed he had no choice. "A week, at most," he said with such a low whisper it was barely hearable.

The room was filled with a terrible silence and for a while Thor thought Clint had broken completely, and maybe he had.

"I want to see him." Clint's voice was a low icy whisper. All emotions had dried out of it and his face was ghostly pale. Thor thought to himself that he very much preferred the screaming Clint than this one. This Clint scared him.

"You can't," he said and felt once more his heart sting.

Clint didn't even blink. "Why not?" he asked with the same emotionless voice as before.

"Because," he said and made a pause. He would need a whole lot of mead once he got back to Asgard. "Because he doesn't want you to see him in his current state."

Something flashed in Clint's eyes and first he thought the man was going to hit him but instead his shoulders just hunched even more. "He's dying Thor. My boyfriend is dying and I would like to see him before it's too late."

It was the first time anyone had referred to Loki as a boyfriend and it sent a weird bitter sweet feeling to Thor's heart. Throughout their lives Loki had been lonely. In spite of his stunning looks none had seemed to put much interest in the young prince and Thor knew that had hurt Loki more than he'd dared to show. It was unfair that when Loki finally found someone who loved him like Clint did it was too late.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry Clint, but I kind of agree with him. I want nothing else than for Loki to be happy during his last days. And in normal circumstances I know he would be at his happiest if he spent those days with you but now, I'm not sure. Clint, I'm going to be honest with you. He doesn't look good. His sickness is eating him alive, it's a quite horrible sight. And I know he doesn't want you to see him like that, he told me. He doesn't want you to remember him as a skeleton, he wants you to remember him as the strong man he was before the illness took him. He may want to see you Clint but he'd rather not let you see him in his current state," Thor tried to explain but his voice was beginning to fail him and for the first time in a very long time he felt his eyes starting to water.

"THEN GIVE HIM A BLOODY APPLE THEN!" Clint screamed out with the hoarse voice of a death metal singer. The walls were shaking along with the archer's furious voice and Thor imagined that the agent would have been quite terrifying to a normal human at the moment.

"Don't you think I've tried? Clint I don't want you to die, but he's my brother and I tried and tried to make him change his mind. But he refused. I've tried everything Clint but my brother simply is determined to lay down his life for you."

"THEN GIVE HIM YOURS!" He yelled out even louder.

"I can't!"

There was silence for a moment before Clint finally said something. "I need to see him Thor, one last time," he begged.

Thor bit his tongue and shook his head. "I'm sorry. But I have to follow my brother's wishes. When he's… gone to Valhalla," he said even though he knew only men fallen in battle went there. But he simply didn't want to think about the place he deep inside knew Loki was really going to. "I will give you my dose of apples until the full year has passed. You see, that is why I can't give him mine now, it would weaken me too much to first give him my dose and then you," he said, feeling that he had to make everything clear for the life without Loki.

"And what if I refuse to eat your apples?" Clint asked with nothing in his voice to say how he felt.

"Then Loki will have died for nothing."

Clint blinked a few times. Thor didn't want to know how Clint was feeling inside, he just hoped the young archer wouldn't do anything ridiculously stupid.

"Listen, I think I'd better go. I came to talk to Stark but well seeing as he's not here I think I'll just return home to my brother," he said and turned around. He was halfway out the door when Clint suddenly spoke with a weak, tear-drenched voice.

"Will you tell him that I love him?"

Thor didn't dare turn and look at the devastated person behind him. Instead he just nodded and kept walking.

…

There was a sickly smell of death in the room when Thor entered it. And the man lying in the bed looked more like a corpse than the living god he still was. For a faint second he almost thought his brother was dead but then he saw the shallow rise and fall of his chest, which occurred less and less often.

He took a deep breath and fought away the threatening tears as he walked over to the bed. The eye lids of his brother jounced a bit at the sudden movement when Thor pulled the cover higher up Loki's body and stuffed it in closely to the god's throat so that he wouldn't be cold.

He then sat down in his usual spot in the chair next to the bed and studied his brother's skeleton face. The holes of his eyes were black like the night and his cheek bones were even more pronounced now. He truly looked horrible.

"Does it hurt much?" he asked because he knew his brother was awake and he knew he probably was in a lot of pain.

Loki opened up his mouth only the tiniest bit but not a sound escaped his cracked lips. He then tried another method and shook his head. Just the smallest shook that wouldn't even have been noticeable if Thor hadn't been expecting him to do it. Thor knew that Loki lied, he always lied. And he also knew that even that small shake of his head had hurt like the river to Nifelheim. But he also knew that there was nothing he could possibly do to ease his brother's pain. Gods never fell ill, and therefor they had no painkillers. Not that he was sure they would actually have worked in this case anyway.

Loki looked even worse than he'd done when Thor left earlier that day and the god of thunder started to realize that his brother had a lot less than a week left to live. If unlucky, or maybe lucky (it would probably be best for everyone if Loki got out from his suffering as soon as possible) he wouldn't survive the night.

"Do you want me to get Mother? Father?" Loki didn't answer but he didn't really have to. Thor really wanted his brother to find his way back to their parents before he died. He wanted him to know that they all really loved him. But if Loki didn't want it then there was nothing he could do but to accept that.

He dropped the subject completely and reached out to touch his brother's forehead. It wasn't burning with a high fever anymore, but it was icy, painfully cold. Loki's skin usually had a colder tone to it (due to his ancestors) but this was just out of proportion.

Thor found himself leaning back and pulling off his crimson red cape to put it over his brother as a second blanket.

Loki let out a small agonized sound Thor took as either a "thank you" or a "get your hands of me, you scum". But judging by the way Loki had slowly started to treat him more and more like a brother over the last months he would actually bet on the first one.

He sat down again and they stayed like that, in complete silence for hours. Outside the Asgardian sun was slowly starting to fall and the night came closer as a sick reminder of the darkness that was swallowing the man in the bed.

The room was now dark except for the candles on Loki's bedside table which enlightened his pale face. He looked even more ghostlike it that light and Thor felt once more how the tears were forming in his eyes because he knew, he knew even before Loki opened his green eyes and looked at him with a dead man's gaze. He knew even before he saw how his brother's chest stopped moving and before he pressed his shaking fingers to his throat and felt no pulse.

He first thought he could make it. He thought he could hold back his tears. He really did. But then he remembered Clint's words. _'Will you tell him that I love him?' _And then his tears ran freely down his cheeks in desperate streams. He hadn't told him. How could he have forgotten to tell him?!

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**So what did you guys think? Please leave a review on the way out ;)**

**Hopefully it won't be that long until next update :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews and favs and stuff! You guys rock! :D**

**Oh and sorry for the angst in the last chapter :(**

**This is quite a short chapter I know but well... yeah... **

**Anyway, this story is starting to come to its end, I think it'll be like three more chapters or something, just so you know.**

**Well I won't hold you any longer, please enjoy! :D**

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_**Chapter 12**_

Thor really didn't want to tell Clint. He really didn't. Only thinking about his beloved brother's death hurt in him worse than the pain his lightning bolts produced. Fact was that most of his woken time it hurt too much for him to cope with it. He had found his escape in mead. Before, he'd drunk to make his world seem even brighter but now he drank to make it look less dark.

The only reason to why he managed to gather courage this day was because the funeral was the following day and he knew for a fact that Loki would have wanted Clint to be there. So he put his things together, sobered up and went for Midgård. What he met on Earth was awkwardly enough a replica of himself. Clint was lying curled up in a ball in his bed holding a bottle of vodka tightly in his hands. He wasn't crying though, he didn't even have traces of tears on his cheeks. He just lay like that, staring into the room in an eerie way.

Thor pulled the closest chair over to the bed and sat down on it. But Clint didn't so much as blink at the creaky sound of the wood moving across the floor.

Thor crossed his hands over his knees, not sure what he was going to say exactly. He opened his mouth to say something, anything at all to break the silence but Clint beat him to it.

"He's dead, isn't he?" Clint's voice was rasp and littered with pain and sorrow.

Thor bit his lip and nodded. "I'm afraid he is."

A few more seconds of excruciating silence filled the room. But when Clint started talking again Thor realized that he preferred that said silence. Clint's tortured voice cut right through the flesh and bone of Thor. "When is the funeral?"

"Tomorrow," Thor answered and tried to avoid looking the mortal in the eyes, it was simply too painful. "Fact is… I came to take you to Asgård."

Thor waited for a response to that but Clint didn't even blink so he decided to just keep talking. "Mother wants to meet you. She wants to know what kind of person could make her son as happy as you did." This time he at least got some kind of a reaction from the other man, even if it was just a small shudder.

"I made him happy? He's dead because of me Thor," Clint stated and the god of thunder could see one single tear fall down the archer's cheek.

…

It was a big funeral. Hundreds of people were gathered in the great hall. Everyone was dressed in the finest armor made of gold and silver, most of them even wore capes. That Clint felt like an outcast amongst them dressed in his carbon colored costume was no overestimation. But he couldn't care less about that at the moment because there in front of him was his lover. His slim figure was covered by a green, silk clothing. Clint guessed they'd decided to cover up all of him because of the state his body had been in when he died and Clint was partly happy for that. He didn't know if he could survive seeing Loki broken in a skeleton's shape.

The ceremony was pretty much like the ones he was used to except for less talk about Christianity and more about bravery, loyalty and honor, things that the Asgardians valued. The one thing that was different from any other funeral he'd ever been to was the tears. No one was crying. In a room filled with hundreds of individuals supposedly mourning a loved one's death not a single one was shedding tears. No one but Frigga, Thor and… maybe Odin. Clint couldn't be sure if that was tears in the old man's eye or if he simply had gotten something in it because nothing in his posture revealed any sorrow.

And that was what finally got him. They weren't crying, because they didn't care. They had never cared. If tradition hadn't told them to attend the young prince's funeral then not a single soul had come. They had lived with Loki for thousands of years and every one of them had taken him for granted. No one had even cared to get to know the god any closer because everything was always about Thor. They all thought that Loki was the big antagonist, the black sheep that only wanted to do harm and mischief. But they didn't know. They didn't know the real Loki. They didn't know that the man they all thought was evil had just laid down his life to save a pathetic mortal. He'd died to save someone else's life. The ultimate sacrifice. But no one knew, no one cared. That's why not a single one of them cried. And that was what finally got him. That was what made him break into a screaming, agonizing cry. That was what made his eyes sting in tears and his cheeks go wet.

…

After the funeral everyone was quick to leave. After what seemed like less than two minutes Odin, Frigga, Thor and Clint were the only ones left outside the great hall.

"So you're the one who stole my son's heart," Frigga said with tears still hearable in her voice and hugged him. It didn't feel strange or fake, it felt just like hugging your loved one's mother should feel like.

"I guess I am," he said with a small smile which did nothing to brighten up the sad look on his face.

Odin gave out a short snort before he left them all without even throwing a second glance at Clint.

The assassin watched the man go and he felt somewhat relieved when he was gone. The Allfather surely gave credit to his name. He seemed like a man you wouldn't want to argue with or disobey.

"Please excuse my husband, he's never been particularly fond of Loki's decisions in life, you see," Frigga said with a nervous smile on her face as she wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

Clint just simply nodded and turned his eyes back to his lover's mother.

"I heard you were sick, Clint was it right? Good to see you got better," she said with a raised brow. She had that look on her face. That look he as an assassin and a spy had seen many times in his life. The look of knowledge. Knowledge of something secret. He couldn't help but get the feeling that she knew, she knew what Loki had done. Which (when you come to think of it) wasn't that surprising. She knew that Loki had wanted Odin to give Clint a few apples to keep him from dying. She knew that her husband had refused and she also knew now that while her son had gotten worse and worse Clint had gotten better. But even though she seemed to know about all this she didn't seem to hold any grudge against him. Her smile and her hospitality towards him were genuine. She didn't blame him. Why didn't she blame him?

"Yeah I did. Thank you," he said not really putting much focus in what to say since he was currently occupied with trying to read the goddess' eyes.

"Well I know it would have torn my son apart to see you die judging by the way you made him feel," she said with a small smile and a nod. "It was a pleasure meeting you Clint. I just wish it would have happened under happier circumstances. If you excuse me I have to go and find my husband to give him a lecture about hospitality. Good bye."

He answered her with a smile and a nod before he left. He then turned to the red eyed Thor next to him who seemed to have used his cloak as a handkerchief judging by the smears of tears on it.

"I'm so sorry for what I did to your family, to Loki," he said and let his gaze fall to the ground, not sure he could meet the god's eyes.

"What are you talking about Clint? You gave Loki something he'd never experienced in his whole life! You gave him true happiness, you gave him love and I will be eternally thankful for that and so will Loki! I'm sure he's sitting right now down in Nifelheim and smiling. Can you imagine that? The man who always seemed to be sad in a world of joy is now smiling with happiness in the world of death and sorrow….."

"Wait!" Clint exclaimed and looked up at the god with big eyes. Sure, Thor's words had touched him but there was something else, something bigger. A lot bigger. "What did you just say?"

Thor raised his brow in confusion. "That you gave him happiness?"

"No, the other thing. Nifelholm…"

"Nifelheim?"

"Yes! What is that?" Clint asked almost feeling his heart race within his chest.

"It's the place you go to when you die a normal man's death," Thor explained while looking even more confused. "I think it resembles what you call hell, but it's cold and dark and tedious."

Clint just looked at him with wide eyes. Because… if gods are real then the place they go to when they die might be real just as well. And if there is a way in (which there has to be because the dead has to get there somehow), then there must be a way out. "Thor, I think I have a plan…"

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**Hehehe... sorry for the cliffhanger ;)**

**Please do leave a review on the way out ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**I am so, so sorry for taking so unforgivably long time to update but I am completely, one hundred percent honest when I say that I haven't had time to write at all. School has taken pretty much all of my time and I haven't even had time to meet with friends. But coming week is the last serious week of school so once I'm past that I will have time to write a whole lot more.**

**This chapter was written in two days and I haven't had time to proof read it so I'm sorry for its crappiness but I just felt like I had to update.**

**Thank you all for your support and all the love you've given me I honestly do not think I deserve it.**

**Anyway, here is the very delayed thirteenth chapter. Sorry again for the typos and over all crappiness of this chapter ;) Enjoy!**

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_**Chapter 13**_

"No Clint," Thor said with a voice that sounded eerily like the voice of Odin.

"Why not?" Clint asked with a daring tone and refused to let his gaze falter. He stared right into those bright blue eyes of the god before him. It was a fight for dominance, for the upper hand. The one who first lowered their glare would lose. Like two wolves they fought for control.

"Because," Thor started with a raised voice and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Because it's the land of the dead agent Barton! Hel will never let Loki out of there and much less you if you went there to get him!"

Clint opened his mouth to object but was fast silenced by the god of thunder once more. "Don't you understand? If you go there you'll never come out again. You'll be stuck in Nifelheim for all of eternity and it isn't a pleasurable place to be in, believe me. And Loki would never forgive himself if you ended up there," Thor's voice had gone from the powerful voice of the king of Asgard to the pleading voice of a man who'd just lost his brother and was about to lose a friend.

Clint bit his lower lip. Yes he'd thought about that possibility but he also knew that there was no chance in heaven or hell that he would back away from this.

He was an assassin. He'd taken tons of lives in his life and that didn't affect him much at all but somehow being responsible for Loki's death was far more than he could handle. No, he would do anything in his power to bring his lover back.

"You told me that that Hel chick is Loki's daughter. Wouldn't she be more than happy to let Loki live in this world again?" he asked still without dropping his gaze.

"Hel is a creature of darkness Clint. First of all she doesn't care about anyone in her surroundings, Loki is most likely no exception. And even if she did feel sentiment for her father it would only be just another reason to keep him down there. Creatures of darkness love the darkness Clint. Nifelheim is nothing but a paradise to Hel, a place she probably would want her father to be in if she now felt for him," Thor answered with a sigh and dropped his hands to his side. "Listen Clint, I'd love for your plan to work. There is nothing I want more at the moment than to bring my brother back. But some things are just meant to be. Loki's dead and we'll just have to accept it."

Clint made a _tsk_ing sound and took one daring step closer to the massive god before him. He stared as hard he could into those traitorous blue eyes before he spoke his mind with as much authority he could possibly muster. "That is not the sound of the Thor I knew. The Thor I knew would break down the laws of physics to save those he loves. The Thor I knew fought against his own brother to save the lives of some people he'd never even met. The Thor I knew would not have given up on Loki so easily."

And then, then Thor's eyes faltered. His glance fell to the ground for only a few seconds before it returned to Clint. He opened his mouth to give the assassin an answer but this time it was his turn to be silenced.

"Tell me, is there any chance? Is there even the smallest of small chances that my plan will work?"

"Not in this world no."

"Well lucky me Nifelheim is not in this world then."

"Listen, Clint."

"No, you listen!" Clint snapped. "I am going to take this chance, I don't care if you'll join me or not. And there's nothing you or your homophobic excuse of a father can do about it," he said and turned around. He squared his shoulders and walked his way. But he hadn't walked further than a few yards when he heard Thor's bear-like voice behind him.

"And how are you going to find your way to Nifelheim?"

Clint stopped right in his steps. His high shoulders now sunk together and made the archer look more like a bag of potatoes than a man who would walk straight into hell and back. He knew Thor was right. There was no way in hell he could find his way to Nifelheim and back without guidance. It turned out that there were a great lot of things Thor could do to stop him.

Silence fell upon them. All they could hear was the fires of the crematorium behind them and their own breaths. The people whom had attended the funeral had long since returned to their homes and the streets of Asgard laid before them in total tranquility.

Those few seconds of silence that passed felt like a thousand years to Clint and his legs were starting to shake. He was a soldier, trained to stay calm in any situation. But his training had never prepared him for a situation like this. The mere thought of possibly having to let go of Loki without even haven given a fight was torturous for him and for a split second he actually considered threatening the god of thunder to help him. But that thought flew away as fast as it had come. Thor was his friend and he could never hurt him. But still.

"Wait here while I saddle two horses," Thor said simply and before Clint even had time to turn around and ask him to repeat himself the god was gone.

Barton just stared right into the air with confusion written as clearly in his face as if it had been tattooed into his flesh. It was first when Thor returned ten minutes later that he truly understood that the god had been serious.

"We better get off as soon as possible. If my father finds out what we're about to do he'd probably lock us both up," Thor said and pulled the reins of the brown mare towards Clint. "Here," he said.

Clint watched Thor for a moment still not quite sure what just happened but he took the reins in his hands and looked into the eyes of the beautiful eyes of the creature before him. The horse met his glaze and neighed happily at him.

Clint bit his lips and turned towards the god whom with an easy move swung himself up on his own cloud-white horse. It looked so easy but when Clint turned towards his own mount it seemed like an impossible thing to perform. He'd seen a lot of horse riding during his time at the carnival but he'd never actually tried horseback riding himself.

Thor seemed to have noticed Clint's problem because he let out a small laughter. "It's not really that hard. Just grab a tight hold of the saddle, put your left foot into the stirrup and then push and pull yourself up into the saddle. I think you Midgardians would say… easy as a pancake?"

Clint nodded. He was rather irritated at Thor's laughter but on the same time grateful for his help. His mare looked at him again with his dark and clever eyes before the animal nuzzled his mule into Clint's neck. The archer was surprised at the sudden movement but he welcomed the soothing feeling of the horse's warm breath on his skin.

Thor chuckled. "Most men that animal tries to kick if they get closer than a yard to him," he said with a fond smile on his lips.

Clint patted the nose of the horse before he followed Thor's instructions and got himself into the saddle without any bigger problem but also without the slightest hint of grace. "Then why did he cuddle with me…. And why did you give me such a dangerous horse?" he asked and gripped hold of the reins. He was extra careful so that he held them just like Thor.

Thor gave him a big smile. "Because he knows who you are. I gave him to you because I knew he wouldn't hurt you," he said and then his smile fainted due to the path in with his thoughts were traveling next. "That was Loki's mount."

…

"I'm disappointed in you, father," his daughter said through the bone bars that was his cage.

He lifted his glance from the icy floor up to the lilac eyes of his offspring. Odin had named her a monster and cast her into the freezing land of the dead. The gods had called a freak, a hideous sight the eye could not behold for long and that hurt Loki more than he would ever confess. Because she was his daughter and he saw her beauty. He had loved her from the first day he lay his eyes on her. But Odin had pulled her out from her mother's arms and banished her to Hel. The mother -Angrboða- Odin sentenced to death by burning her alive. It was obvious how the great Allfather felt about Loki and his relations. He felt his whole insides twitch as an picture of Odin burning Clint alive filled his mind. But he pushed that thought away because he knew that his father wouldn't hurt a kind human like that. He told himself that it was because of the fact that Angrboða had been a giant that Odin had decided to kill her and ban all the children Loki had gotten with her. Because his adoptive father surely couldn't be that cruel, could he?

He shook himself out of his thoughts and pulled himself up on his feet instead. His bones cracked in his body as he moved but it didn't really hurt. He took a few steps closer to his daughter so that his nose almost touched the bars of his prison cell. "What have I done that has made you so disappointed my dear?" he asked and studied the movement in her wild eyes.

Around them there were screams of condemned souls that was freezing to death, although they didn't die, they just kept living in a state where the cold had completely shattered their insides. Loki couldn't possibly imagine the pain they were in. Fact was that he didn't feel the cold, or well he did, but it was rather comfortable to him. He looked down at his blue hands and felt disgust rise through him. Down here it was impossible for him to escape who he really was, he was nothing but a foul frost giant. When he saw that sickly blue color of his skin he couldn't understand how he ever could have believed that he was something else. He was a monster. He deserved to be here.

"You've grown soft. That human. I thought he was your pet, he was supposed to be your pet. You were supposed to use him as a shield against his allies and now you're the one who died for him. I didn't see you sacrifice your life like that for mother. What happened to you that made you so weak that whore could wrap you right round his fragile human fingers?" disgust was written all over her half rotten face. But it was nothing in comparison to the anger that shot through Loki's face.

He grabbed hold of the bars so hard and fast the whole cage shook and it surprised the queen of Nifelheim so much she took a half step back. "Don't you dare call him that! I may have grown weak, I may have been totally brainwashed by him. But do not for one second think that he wasn't worth it!"

His daughter snorted and took one step forward so their noses almost touched. "I always looked up to you father. You were cruel and strong but now, now you're even more pathetic than those humans you so dearly love," she said with a snarl before she turned around and left the room with the torn fabric of her dark blue dress swinging back and forth every step she took.

"I am still that man. I would burn down a thousand worlds, slaughter a thousand spieces just to keep him safe," he yelled after her but his voice didn't reach its goal due to the screams of the suffering around him.

He sighed heavily and sank down to his previous position on the ground. He found comfort in the thought that Clint was safe and sound in the Avengers Tower back on earth, that was the only consolation he could possibly need.

…

It felt like they had ridden for days. His thighs were hurting and blisters were starting to form in his hands but he wouldn't complain. Not even when the hunger started to scream within him did he let even a sound of discomfort leave his mouth. Because what he was about to do was way more important than food and rest.

After being teleported away from Asgard they had ended up on the most dreadful place Clint had ever seen. It was as cold as an Alaskan winter and as dark as a mother's womb. The road they were riding on was hard and long. And right next to it floated a river made out of swords and daggers. Thor had told him that it was Ginnungagap and if they followed the stream they would end up in Nifelheim.

Clint wonder what Nifelheim was like if the only the road there was this horrible. He sensed some kind of force in the air. A force that slowly tore out all his will to live the closer he got to the gates of Nifelheim. "It's the land of the dead Agent Barton, life does not exist in any form here," the god of thunder had answered when Clint had asked about it.

It was impossible to tell for how long they had been riding since there was no sun. There was no shining source to provide them with light but somehow the air around them seemed to give away an eerie bluish light that made it possible for them to see the path ahead.

Clint felt how his eye lids just got heavier and heavier and he was just about to fall asleep when Thor exclaimed: "There it is!"

Suddenly the archer was sitting straight in his saddle once more with wide open eyes. He couldn't help but let out a small gasp at the sight before him. It was a gigantic black gate, covered in frost. It had a sinister and evil look upon it which gave him the feeling that it wanted to swallow him whole. Ice cold air was streaming out from its bars and straight into Clint. He'd never felt such freezing coldness before in his entire life, it felt like his whole insides were turning to ice. And there was nothing he could do to make himself warmer. He tried to hug himself, he tried to move as much as possible but nothing could keep the cold away.

"Nifelheim is the coldest world there is. You talk about hell's flames but in our land of the dead it is the coldness of Ragnarök that rules. Nothing you'll do will bring you warmth so you might as well save your energy for later," Thor answered as he flung himself off the horse.

First Clint was frozen to his saddle but after putting all his concentration to his legs he managed to jump off his own mare, or well, rather fall off of it. "How come I still be alive? I'm wearing nothing but a suite. In this cold I should have been frozen to death by now," the archer asked through chattering teeth.

"Haven't you listened to what I've said?" Thor asked as he patted the neck of his horse. "This is the land of the dead. There is no life here. And if there is no life than no death can exist either."

"But how can something exist that is neither dead nor alive? Because I am pretty sure that I still exist," Clint answered with a wrinkled forehead. Loki used to say that he looked like a lost puppy when he made that face. Clint used to bite by saying that Loki always looked like a lost puppy.

"It's hard to explain… I do not understand it fully myself either but the souls down here- us too at the moment- is alive but not living. And they're without life but not dead. They're floating on something in between living and dead and they can't get away from there," the god answered and let go of the reins to take a step towards the gate. "We leave our horses outside, we don't want Nidhögg to get a hold of them."

Clint wondered who the hell Nidhögg was but at the moment there was another question he more urgently wanted an answer for. "But we can, right? Get away from here I mean…"

Thor turned around to meet his glance for a short while before turning back towards the gate. The god's blue eyes looked all but comforting. "I'm not sure," he answered silently before he pushed the gigantic gate open. The hinges of the mighty construction screeched loudly at the movement as if it had never been oiled. And as the gate opened the coldness from within the realm of the dead his him like a nuclear blast and he thought he was going to freeze solid.

There was a darkness more frightening than anything he'd ever seen behind those walls. No eerie light was there to lighten the place up even somewhat and he got the feeling that the most dreadful creatures were hiding in the dark. But he wouldn't let any of that back him down. Loki was in there somewhere and he needed to find him.

He was about to take one step forth when the most hideous creature emerged from the shadows. It was a woman dressed in dark blue rags. Her hair was dark as a raven's wings and hung down from her face in dirty, frostbitten stripes. Her eyes were wild and purple but none of that was the terrifying part. Half of her face was rotten. The left side was all smooth and pale skin – which together with the black hair reminded him of Loki- but her right side had a sickly green/blue color and the skin seemed to just peel of her. The bone beneath all that rotten flesh was even visible here and there. And when he let his glance fall down he realized that the right side off her whole body was rotten. He looked up at her again just in time to see her smile wickedly. Her teeth was showing through a hole in her rotten cheek as she smiled.

"Welcome to Nifelheim, Clint Barton of Midgård," she said with a wicked voice and suddenly Clint wondered if he wasn't dead after all.

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**Dun, dun, dun, duuun! Please leave a review on your way out! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**First of all thank you all for reviewing and faving and waiting! You guys are awesome!**

**Second of all this took far longer to write than it should have. I thought I would have time to write now when school's ended and there's no homework to drown in but I was wrong. I will be working for three weeks now and it turned out to take more stamina from me than I first had expected. My inspiration level is also dangerously low. **

**With that said I will now let you read this short and badly written chapter. Sorry for my crappiness...**

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_**Chapter 14**_

"I was partly expecting you and partly thinking you wouldn't dare to come," she said and extracted her right arm to him. Her skeleton hand waiting in the cold air to be shaken.

Clint looked at it for a few second before he met her glance again. "Well I'm sorry to dishonor you but I would rather not shake your hand. You see on Earth we have this saying that if death touches you then you die."

She grinned at him with green teeth. "Midgardians and your silly stories. Honey you are already dead," she said and turned around from them. "I'll take you to Loki," she added before she started walking and disappeared into the fog.

Clint was like frozen to the ground for a moment. Was he actually about to follow the goddess of death into the land of the dead? Was he suicidal? He turned around and saw the same signs of doubt in Thor's eyes. But none of that really mattered because he knew he had to do it.

So he nodded towards the god who mirrored his gesture before they both went into the fog. It was even colder inside, even though he'd thought that to be impossible. It was so cold that nothing could possibly grow there (not that it would have grown anything in the land of the dead anyway) and there was no snow to be seen because it was too cold for snow to fall in the first place. The moisture of his eyes seemed to turn to ice and so did the saliva in his mouth. He wondered what would happen if he cut himself now, would he bleed or had his blood literally turned to ice as well. He couldn't help but to silently ask himself how he could still live when all the liquid inside him had turned to ice. Wouldn't his body stop working? Wouldn't he burst due to the increased density of his inside. But then he realized once more that he wasn't alive and nothing that happened to him down here could fatally harm him.

He couldn't see anything but somehow he knew exactly where to go because after half an hour of walking he reached a gigantic ice structure both higher and wider than his eyes could see in the thick fog. He could see no window but there was a door opening leading into a long dark ice corridor enlightened only by some torches on the wall, burning with a green, cold light.

The archer swallowed hard before he entered the hall. He could hear the screaming of people in the distance and the walls themselves seemed to behold a sinister and evil feeling. He hoped to God that one of those screams didn't belong to his trickster.

The ice was slippery under their feet but years of experience had made both the god and the archer stable on their legs. The corridor never seemed to end and there were doors on both sides of them as they walked. Through those doors they heard screams. Clint couldn't help but to wonder how many beings that were trapped down there. He concluded that it probably were more than he could count.

After walking for what felt like hours they finally reached a big door opening and the end of the corridor.

All he could see behind the door was a wall but he could hear a voice from inside the room, he directly recognized it as that scary woman's voice.

"_I don't see anything special in that human. You call him strong and fascinating, I call him weak and tedious. He's a Midgardian and I would doubt that he would survive even a minute without a guardian." _Clint felt rage stir inside of him at the woman's words. He knew it was him she was talking about and he felt a deep pull to prove her wrong. So he quickened his steps. But as another voice joined in on the discussion he felt his whole body freeze in its movement.

"_In that case I fear that you do underestimate him daughter. Agent Barton is many things, but weak and tedious are not two of them." _Clint could recognize Loki's voice anywhere. It sounded stronger than it had done the last time he had met him but sadder and lonelier. Even so he felt a pull in his heart, a small twinge of joy. He'd thought that he never would hear that lovely voice ever again. And the thought that right behind that wall was his lover was so overwhelming that he barely could breathe. A few steps more and he would get to see that gorgeous face he had thought was forever lost from his world. Just the mare thought of getting to see his trickster again made his legs feel like jelly and on the same time as heavy as lead. He had no idea how he finally managed to order his muscles to move but somehow he ended up in the room turned towards the right and locking eyes with the half rotten woman. She had mischievous smile upon her lips which (to Clint's despair) reminded him somewhat of Loki.

"Clint," a voice whispered, which forced the archer to turn his glance towards the gigantic, frozen cage in the room. He first didn't recognize the person inside it. He stared at the figure for what seemed like minutes before he realized that those red, suffering eyes belonged to his lover. He gasped in shock and so did Thor as he entered the room behind Clint.

Thor shaped his lips to whisper _"brother" _but his throat had locked itself, making it impossible for the god to even make a comprehensible sound.

Loki smiled the slightest, making the lines in his blue face dance. He rose from his cold, stone bed and walked over to the bars of his cell. Red eyes wandered from Clint to Thor and back again. "None of you have seen me in my true Jötun form before," he stated as he locked his eyes on his lover, searching for any sign or rejection in his bright eyes. "I'm sorry that the first time had to be under such shocking circumstances. But believe me: it was worse for me when I first found out about it."

He waited for someone to say something, mostly Clint. He wanted his lover to smile and say that it didn't matter. That his Jötun form wasn't as disgusting as Loki himself felt like it was. He wanted Clint to at least say that everything was okay. But he didn't. He didn't say anything at all. He just kept staring at him in shock and Loki started to feel like an animal at a zoo. Trapped in a cage for children to point and laugh at. He swallowed back the tears that were threatening to assault his eyes. "Do I repel you Clint?" he asked and tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

Clint blinked a few times and then shook his head rapidly to fully wake up from his paralyzed state of mind. "Of course not!" he exclaimed truthfully which made Loki twitch a bit in surprise. Clint bit his lower lip and walked the final steps towards Loki while making sure that his back was never turned against Hel. "Au contraire, It's…" he said, making a pause in his sentence as his eyes followed the markings on his god's blue skin. When his eyes had reached all the way down to Loki's fingers he let his gaze travel all the way back up to his lover's red orbs. "It's rather beautiful, _you _are beautiful," he stated, ignoring the small cough from Thor and the grunt from Hel. Instead, he concentrated on the smile that grew on Loki's face.

"Really?" the god of mischief asked. Because he couldn't understand how anyone could find his current state (which he himself found disgusting and repellent) even the slightest attractive.

"Really," Clint clarified as he stretched out his hand to caress Loki's cheek. Loki backed away but was to slow. Clint let out a small roar of pain as his fingers made contact with the burning cold skin of his lover.

"I'm sorry I should have warned you. During Jötun form my body temperature is too cold for any non-jötun being to touch. Are you okay?" Loki asked with concern written all over his face.

Clint stared at his hand, black due to freezing damage. If he'd been in the land of the living that hand would have to be amputated. Instead he saw (to his astonishment) how the black of his skin started to fade into its natural color and the sharp pain followed with it. "I'm… I'm fine," he stuttered.

"You can't die in the land of the dead. Not even the cold will kill you," Hel said and took a few steps forward so that she was standing right in front of Clint. "So, are we going to stand here all day or are we going to get to business?"

Clint licked his lips but didn't succeed in wetting them, his tongue was slippery due to the frozen saliva. He opened his mouth to state his conditions but didn't even get to say one word.

"I know what you want Clint Barton. And you're not going to get it," Hel said with an empty look on her face.

Hawkeye's heart felt like lead in his chest.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi guys! First of all sorry for the long wait! And it turned out to be such a short chapter... I am a horrible person I know. But well now I've finally purchased a laptop which will make it easier for me to write wherever I am, which (hopefully) will lead to me updating more regularly ;)**

**Second of all... I am so so for what I am bout to do to Clint and Loki in this and following chapter. As if I haven't made them suffer enough as it is. You all have my approval to royally kick my ass, I think I deserve it...**

**I will raise the rating for next chapter to M, just so you are prepared...**

**Thanks as always to all reviews and stuff, I seriously love you guys! :)**

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Chapter 15

Clint felt how the rage stirred within him because no one (no matter how powerful would stop him now). To prove his point he stepped closer to the hideous woman. So close that the tips of their noses almost touched.

"I'd like to see you try and stop me! Because I will do anything to bring back your father even if I'll have to walk right over your dead body," he growled with a voice that brought goose bumps even to his own skin, or maybe it was just the cold.

But Clint's threatening voice didn't seem to bring the wanted tremors to Hel because since she just simply grinned at him rather amused."Oh what a sickly adorable pup you are,thinking he's all grown and scary. Honey, you have no chance to defeat me. But I will give you the offer I always give when someone is here to bring a loved one back, although I don't think it's even worth trying in your case."

The archer raised a brow. "Try me," he said because he truly was prepared to do just anything. So he crossed his arms and waited for her to name his trial. And he knew that he would succeed. Because it didn't matter whether he would have to defeat a manticore or if he would have to walk through a pit of fire, he would do it.

She smiled to him even wider. "You have to make every living being in every world cry for his death."

Clint didn't comprehend what she had said at first, it seemed so surreal, so simple. And therefore he first smiled when she'd said it. But then it came to him, then he realized whom it was they were talking about and once more the world came crashing down on him.

"What?" he stuttered, feeling like he couldn't breath. Because he knew that that was the one thing he could never succeed with. He would never be able to make a whole universe cry for the god of mischief. How would he? Not even his own family had shed tears for him on his own funeral.

"That wasn't what you'd expected right?" she said with a malicious laughter. "Is that a look of doubt I see in your eyes agent Barton? Where did all that warrior spirit go? Are you just going to give up?" she teased him and walked a circle around him. He stood like frozen to the ground and she smiled even wider. Once she was right behind him she stopped and leaned in so that her lips hovered over his ear ghostly. "You know, don't you? That the two of you will rotten down here forever because no one cares that he died." Her breath hit Clint's ears coldly like icicles.

He turned around sharply and stared right into her lifeless eyes. "My words still stand, I will walk over your dead body to get him out of her," he hissed, still feeling his ears burning from her cold air.

Once more she laughed at him, he was starting to get really sick of that incredulously irritating laughter. "You're so pathetic and cute when you actually think you can take me down, human."

"Hel," a strong voice suddenly said which shook the woman and Clint both out of their conversation. They both turned around to look at the raven haired god whom had his eyes fixed on the two of them. "You've had your fun, now let him and my brother out of here," he said and threw a glance at the god of mischief who stood still in the corner, thinking about something. Was he planning something? What? Was Thor even capable of planning something to begin with? As far as Loki knew his brother was more of a charge first think later kind of a person. But maybe he didn't know his brother as well as he game himself credit for.

"You have no power over me now father! Down here I am he one who does what I want. And letting your pet and your brother go is not one of the things I want," she hissed at her father. It was rather clear to everyone that she wasn't all that fond about her father's choices in life.

Suddenly there was movement in the corner of their eyes. Thor had stepped into the room and was now facing the half rotten female. "There must be something you want Hel, something that we can give you. I'm sure my father would do anything to get us... to get me out of here," the god of thunder said, pausing as he was about to say 'us' because he realized that Odin wouldn't as much as lift a finger to save Loki or Clint. But he would probably burn down worlds to save Thor.

Hel let out a forced laughter and set her killer eyes on the blonde. "Are you bribing me Thor? Don't you understand? I want nothing from your disgusting family! Your kind killed my mother over and over again and made my father into this pathetic pile of emotions he is today. If there is one thing I want from you then it is your cold, rotten corpses on a silver plate,"she spit out in his face before she turned towards the archer.

"What? You're not even going to try to make the world weep? Weren't you going to do anything to save your master?" she asked with a grin pasted on her face, the irritation towards the thunder god seemed long forgotten. Barton started to wonder if the woman was truly mad.

"Come on! Give me any other mission! Anything and I will do it! But not that!" he close to begged her. He was starting to feel as weak and hopeless as he'd once did as a kid and as he'd sworn himself to never feel like again. But he wasn't going to give up, not this time.

First she seemed certain to say no but then something changed in her expression and she started to smile wider and more sinister than she'd ever done before and Clint started to regret his words because that smile reminded him of Loki's grin during his march of brutality all that time ago.

"Okay, I have a mission for you," she said and Clint prepared himself for the worst. But nothing in his imagination could possibly prepare him for what she was about to say. "Maim him."

Clint blinked a few times. Not sure whom she was talking about and not even sure if she was being serious.

"Loki, to be able to leave I want you to maim him. Mutilate him the best you can. I want you to rip off every part of his body by hand. I want you to tear him apart until no one would even be able to tell that he once was a living being. And I want you to hear him scream as you do it."

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**As I said before I am a horrible human being. I'm so so sorry! :(**

**You are free to yell at me in reviews and PMs ;)**


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